Update on Brian

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We are very grateful for your love, support and prayers.

10/6/09: Brian went home to be with Jesus this morning. He is in no more pain... I ask you to please pray for our family.

My sister-in-law wrote the following:

Brian Baker, 30, of New Lenox, IL, husband of Cristina Baker, went home to be with the Lord on Monday, October 5, 2009, while at home with his wife.

He was born to Mark and Martha Baker on January 1, 1979, in Minneapolis, MN. He was the eldest of two. On September 7, 2002, he married Cristina Baker, his beautiful wife of seven years and mother of his three young girls.

He was a man of strong faith, who never relented in his love for the Lord. Brian and his family lived in Chicago and worked at Craig Bachman Imports and attended Living Water Community Church in Bollingbrook. He was a loving husband and adoring father who honored the Lord in all he did.  

Survivors include: Cristina Baker, spouse; Chloe, Angelica, and Julia Baker, children; Mark and Martha Baker, parents; Carl and Doris Bachman, grandparents; Richard and Carol Baker, grandparents; Laura (Erik) Wegener, sister.  

Viewing at 7 p.m. on Thursday, October 8, 2009 at Living Word Christian Center's chapel, 9201 75th Avenue N, Brooklyn Park, MN 55428. Funeral on Friday, October 9, 2009 at Living Word's chapel; 1:00 pm, viewing one hour prior to service.  Memorial contributions may be sent to New Beginnings Ministries, 13903 Crowne Hill Lane, Minnetonka, MN 55305. 

10/5/09:  Brian’s parents, sister and brother-in-law came to visit us today. It was a very emotional day for us all. Mark embraced me in his loving arms as I cried. It was a special moment for us. Mark and Martha took our three girls for a few days. I will miss them greatly, but I know it is for the best.

10/4/09: Today God answered my prayer! My heart’s desire was for Brian to be present when Julia took her first steps… I put Julia on the ground next to his bed and she took about five steps on her own! When I told Brian that Julia walked he smiled and a tear fell down his cheek. I know it was an important moment for him as well.

My sister and family surprised us today! I was talking with her on the phone and before I knew it she was walking through the door with her beautiful family. We had a wonderful time together. My brother and his family joined us for dinner and afterwards we gathered around Brian and prayed for him. It was such a special moment seeing the love my family has for Brian. There is nothing like being surrounded by family in difficult times like this.

10/1/09: Our pastors from Chicago drove up today to spend the night with us. We were overwhelmed by their love, compassion and support through this entire journey. They wrapped their arms around me and allowed me to cry and be real with them. Let’s face it…this isn’t easy watching the love of my life suffer day after day. They were exactly what we needed and we are so grateful to have them in our lives.

9/30/09: I have been going through Brian’s photos and it is rather emotional seeing his smile and passion for life, the man I married. It has been so long since I have seen him walk, talk and live life to the fullest. It breaks my heart to know that he has gone through such a great amount of pain and suffering. He is such an amazing guy! Peacefully

9/29/09: I went through all of our home videos and picked out all of the footage with Brian in it. I am having something very special made to honor Brian as being an incredible husband, father and son.

9/28/09:  Brian’s spirit is so strong, stronger than any other person I know. He continues to fight even when he has no strength left in his physical body. He is a legacy of unending and unwavering faith.

9/27/09: Brian’s nurse came today and based on his present condition she feels he only has a few weeks to live. He no longer can eat and I can barely get him to drink water. His brain doesn’t understand the concept of swallowing anymore.

Today was emotional for me dealing with another phase in our journey. However, I had a great amount of rest, peace and strength.  I have come to the realization that no matter how big our storms are in life we can choose to be at rest in our souls. I have made a choice to stay in the peace of God and not worry about tomorrow. I know that God has our lives in the palm of his hands. Who am I to worry about tomorrow when today has enough troubles of its own? I have this assurance that God will take care of us Baker girls whether Brian is restored to health on this earth or in heaven.

9/26/09: My special friend MaryAnn from Chicago drove up with her family to spend the day with us. She brought me all of our fall/winter items. I had such an incredible time with her. My sister and a few of my other girlfriends joined us as well. We lit several candles on the patio and had a special dinner. Afterwards MaryAnn and I worshiped at Brian’s bedside. It was a night filled with love and tears being in the presence of God with my dear friends and sister.

9/25/09: My friends Amy and Nancy packed up all of our winter items from our house in Chicago. I want to say an extra thank you for taking the time to go through all of our things to ensure we had everything we needed for the change in seasons.

9/24/09: What a beautiful day! The atmosphere at the lake home has been quiet and peaceful. Brian seems to be at peace and his pain is being managed well. Thank you for lifting our family up in prayer.

9/23/09: My dad’s oldest brother, wife and two children came to visit Brian. I was humbled to see Brian pray for them. I continue to be in awe of his desire to minister to others. His biggest desire is for people to know Jesus and he is doing everything he can to share God’s love with others. It blesses my heart!

9/22/09: I had Chloe sleep with me tonight and out of nowhere she says, “Mom, I think daddy is going to be with Jesus so he doesn’t have to be in pain anymore. I don’t want to see him hurt anymore. You know what that means, right?” I had no clue! She proceeded to say, “You will have to buy us a new daddy!” My heart was filled with compassion as she poured her little heart out to me.

9/20/09: The transfers went very well. He had minimum pain, thank you Jesus! Brian was able to get into his power chair today. That is a huge milestone because for the past few days he hasn’t been able to get out of his hospital bed. When Brian was in his power chair he had to be supervised at all times.

It is so hard to watch Brian go through this. After we got Brian into bed I had to leave the room. I dropped to my knees and began to cry and my wonderful father embraced me in his arms. I said to my dad, “You have no idea how bad this hurts. It goes to the inner core of my being.” After we talked things through I felt a lot better. Sometimes we just need to cry! If you haven’t done it in a while I encourage you to do so. It can be refreshing to get it all out.

I keep reminding saying, "This is only a season." I purpose to enjoy life to the fullest despite what I face on a daily basis. I believe each day is a gift from God! God has a bright future for all of our lives.

9/19/09: What a gorgeous day! I have been enjoying my precious time with Brian. I moved the hospital bed so he is facing the lake. I sit next to him and we look out at the water together.

9/18/09: We had an amazing man of God come to pray for Brian. He came all the way from Jamaica. We could feel the presence of God as he prayed for Brian. It was so sweet, tender and pure. The tears began to flow as I meditated on the love of Jesus. I encourage you to take a few moments of silence and think about how much God loves you. He loves you not for what you do, but for who you are.

9/17/09: Today was a beautiful sunny day. Brian didn’t make it outside unfortunately, but he was able to make the transfer to his power chair. Please pray for him to have the strength to make the transfers or else he will have to stay in his hospital bed 24 hours a day.

Paul and Marlalee Gazelka came to encourage and pray with Brian for a few minutes. Brian has always looked up to Paul so I know his encouragement meant a lot to him.

We also had our life long friends come visit Brian, Josh Harty, Scott Mohs and Tom Norman. We had a very special time of prayer together. It was beautiful to see his friends cry out to God on his behalf. Of course my sweet husband asked if he could pray over them. The guys were very moved by his tenderness. Scott said, “Your place is very peaceful. It is as if there is an open heaven.” I thought that was pretty cool!

Brian’s parents have been so faithful to their son. Mark and Martha are so tender and loving towards Brian. They have been there for him and have given up a lot to be at their son’s side. We are blessed to have them as our parents.

9/16/09: Brian is doing everything he knows to do to fight to live. He is such a warrior and has a strong endurance and faith like I have never seen in my life. 

At around 2:00 am Brian woke up out of his sleep quoting scripture and then he started praying. My heart was touched to hear his true love for God. It was coming directly out of His spirit because mentally he has not been able to carry on conversations. 

I want to make sure that you are aware of Brian’s present condition. However; I want to encourage you to continue to believe for Brian to have full restoration in his body because he wouldn't want it any other way. He still believes despite what he feels and sees. With God all things are possible!

Brian has no use of his legs and has limited movement in his arms. His left arm is full of fluid and is about three times the size of his other arm. Please pray for the fluid build up to decrease. He lays slanted to his left and his neck falls to his left shoulder. He is no longer able to have move his neck from side to side. He needs pillows to prop up his neck. He sleeps about 98% of the day and is alert only when he is in pain, eating or praying. He is not able to carry on much of a conversation. We do not have a definite answer to why this is, but we have speculations. He hasn’t forgotten to say he loves me, which makes me very happy! His memory is in tact, but he is not clear on what he is saying when he talks. Mark and Martha have been staying with us at my parent’s lake home to be here for Brian.  

Please pray for Brian to have peace, strength and relief of pain. Also, that God would help his mind be alert despite the medications he is on.

Brian’s grandparents came up from the Minneapolis area to have some time with Brian. They exchanged such kind words to one another. We gathered around Brian and prayed. It is very hard for them to watch their grandson go through, especially since they are in their late 80’s. They have taught Brian a great deal.

9/15/09: Brian expressed that he missed me so I put my cheek up to his and we both were crying. I said, “Baby, I love you and I am fighting with you. I will never give up.” We enjoyed a precious time of prayer and worship together. I later took him outside for him to get some fresh air. 

9/14/09: Today was a big day for Brian. We had several guests come. Robbie Johnson’s parents came to see him. They have known Brian since he was in diapers! Later in the evening my sister brought Chloe, Angelica and her family to see Brian. It was a very emotional time. We shed a lot of tears! Brian took time with each of our girls and prayed over them, told them how much he loved them and then they gently kiss daddy on the forehead. After that Brian had a lot of love and wisdom to pour out to his brother-in-law and sister-in-law and also to his oldest niece Mikayla. It amazes me how much insight he has. It just shows that our bodies may not be able to function properly, but our spirit’s never grow weary!  

9/13/09: I went out to lunch with a dear friend of mine, Carla. It was a gorgeous day so we sat out on the patio at the Classic Golf Course. It was nice to have some girl time. When I got back I put on my nursing hat and got into my groove of taking care of the love of my life. Pastor Russ came and ministered to us. Brian’s sister, Laura played her keyboard and we had a wonderful time of worship together. Pastor Russ said, “We have all been touched by Brian’s life. He has never given up, not for one second. He is a man of faith and Brian lives for the glory of God!”  

My brother and his family came to see Brian for a few minutes. Brian prayed over my two oldest nephews, Colton and Braydon. They stood before Brian and held his hand as he prayed for their lives and their futures. He sure loves those boys. Brian also prayed over my brother and his wife, Katie. It was sweet to hear him pray about marriage. Katie said she has learned so much by watching our marriage. 

My brother-in-law, Erik, was able to create a headrest for Brian on the side of his power chair for Brian to lean his head on. It has been a huge blessing. We are grateful for all that Erik has done. Laura and Erik took our precious Julia to our friends, Kelly and Fred. We are grateful for their help and for loving on her.  
In the middle of the night Brian’s breathing started to change and he gasped for air. He shouted out, “I will not die, but live for the glory of God. It is not time for me to go yet.” I looked at his adorable face and with tears I asked, “Why don’t you just go be with Jesus so you don’t have to be in pain?” He opened up his eyes looked straight into my soul and said, “Because of you.” I was so humbled that he was fighting to live because of me. I didn’t know what to say. 

9/12/09: Brian’s friend, Jeff came up for the day to spend with him. He was a trooper hanging out with him because Brian was not able to carry on much of a conversation. However when Brian prayed over Jeff he was able to articulate his words and he knew exactly what to say. Brian’s parents and I were crying because of Brian’s love for God and his friend. After Jeff left Brian prayed over his parents. He began to cry as he thanked God for his amazing parents and the love he has for them. We were all crying from the depths of our hearts during this beautiful time of prayer. 

9/10/09: I woke up and felt compelled to tell Chloe about heaven. I sat her down at the top of the stairs on the deck to the carriage house. I said, “I want to talk to you about heaven. When we die we are like caterpillars. We leave our bodies and get new ones; like how caterpillars become butterflies. If dad does go to heaven before us then God will give dad a new body. The best part is he won’t be in pain and he will be able to walk again!”

She thought for a moment and then asked, “What will Julia, Angelica and me do if something happens to you?” My heart ached that she had to think of such a thing. I cupped her little face while looking into her big hazel eyes and said, “I can assure you that God will always take care of you.” She then asked, “Mom, if daddy goes to heaven then what are you going to do? You are just one adult. You can’t take care of us children by yourself.” I said with tears in my eyes, “The grandparents will help me take care of you.” She of course had a comeback and said, “Well you know, I can only have one dad!” We had many more things to say and then we ended our conversation with hugs and kisses.  

Later that day I brought Chloe with me in the car to go to a doctor’s appointment. On the way home she said out of nowhere, “Mom, I just know God is working a miracle in dad. He healed me of my tummy aches and coughs so I know He will heal dad.” Then a few minutes later she asked, “Do you remember the scripture you taught Angelica and me in Chicago? ‘The grass withers, the flowers fall, but the Word of God stands forever’?” It was as if God was saying, “Come to me like a child and just believe.” 

Angelica and I had a special time praying over daddy. She rubbed his arm and kept saying, “Thank you Jesus! You are Holy. I love you Jesus!” She is so tender and loving. After we prayed for dad she helped me feed Brian. It was an emotional experience watching my two year old feed her father.

Our dear friend Mary came to visit us. She took Angelica and Chloe until Monday and Julia went to her Auntie Laura and Uncle Erik’s house for the weekend. My brother came and visited with Brian and helped us transfer him. It was nice to have my big brother on the scene (It takes at least three people to transfer him). When it came time for me to go to sleep I didn’t want to leave him so I pushed the sofa next to his bed and held his hand almost the entire evening. I had to help adjust his pillows throughout the night because of the amount of discomfort he was having.

9/9/09: Chloe’s First Day of Pre-School! When I woke her up she said with a cheerful voice, “Good morning mother! I get to go to school today!” She sure knows how to make me smile. After she was dressed and fed she went over to her dad who was asleep on his hospital bed. I knew he would want to see her off to school so I woke him up. She was eager to tell her dad she was going to school. She kissed his hand and said, “I love you dad!” He whispered back, “I love you too Chloe.”  
 
After she got back from school she sat on my lap in front of dad and just looked at him while he rested. I am sure she wanted to tell her dad about her day at school…

9/8/09: My parents are celebrating their wedding anniversary today. They left for an overnight and Brian’s parents came to help me. Brian has been having excruciating neck pain. I talked with the nurse and she advised me to increase the dosage of his medicine to help decrease the amount of neck pain. I made the decision to increase his medicine which makes him sleep most of the day.  

9/7/09: Today we are celebrating our seven-year anniversary! We were married September 7, 2002 at Agape Christian Center in Brainerd, Minnesota. Today was perfect in every way! The temperature was just right and the sun was out. Our morning started with a bald eagle flying onto a tree in our yard. We were about 15 feet away. We watched the eagle for a good 10-15 minutes. I know it may sound a little strange, but I believe God speaks to me through birds. This bald eagle carried such a strong and powerful presence as he stood on the tree. He was definitely in control. When it was time to go he flew off with such force and power. It made me think of God and how powerful and mighty He is. I just knew our anniversary was going to be special some how some way especially since God sent a bald eagle our way to start out our day.  

My dad came home with all of Brian’s requests for our special dinner. I was working in the kitchen and when I turned around Brian had a beautiful red rose in his hand. I am so used of getting huge bouquets from him because he knows how much I enjoy flowers, but this time around one rose meant more to me than all the flowers and gifts in the world because of his heart behind it.

Rae and Tim Thompson came and made us lunch, yummy! After Brian rested we sat outside together enjoying the beautiful day. Chloe and my mom were secretively decorating the patio to make it extra special for us. Chloe came out and said, “Mom, I think you should wear the pretty purple dress you brought from Chicago for your special dinner.” It was priceless! Chloe and Angelica helped me get ready. We took family pictures by the water. Afterwards we walked to the private patio. Chloe insisted that dad and I kept our eyes closed until we were in front of the patio. I told her it is a little hard to steer dad with my eyes closed, but I will certainly try! When Brian and I stood before the patio with our eyes closed I was in awe of what I saw. My mother and her little helper Chloe made the patio look like a fantasy. The patio was filled with flowers and candles. They even had soft music going in the background! It was picture perfect.  

My dad was our server for the evening. He even wore his work uniform with his name on it to fit the part! He served us sparkling juice and Brian gave me an unforgettable toast. As I fed Brian the delicious pizza we talked about the precious memories we have had together. We both agreed that our best memories were when the girls were born. Chloe kept coming out asking, “Can I get you anything else?” After each time she came out she would bow before she went back in the house! It brought us great joy watching her be our little server. 

At one point in our conversation a humming bird flew directly behind Brian and lingered for a few minutes, enjoying all of the flowers. I couldn’t help but wonder what God was trying to say to me through this little creature. The thought came to me, “God started out our day with largest bird and ended it with the smallest. God can come to us in big and powerful ways such as the bald eagle, but He can also come to us as small as a humming bird. He cares about the big things in our lives, but He never forgets the small things that we think are insignificant to Him.” 

Afterwards Chloe and Angelica joined us for dessert and Angelica said, “I love this party!” We had a great time together talking and laughing. My dad made us a fire so Brian and I strolled down there. Brian was unsure if he could handle being at the fire, but I ensured him he could. He slept the entire time as I held his hand and gazed into the beautiful orange flames. I realized it was time to call it a night. When we turned around to head up the hill straight ahead of us was a full moon that was bright red. Wow! What a way to end a perfect day with my precious husband and family. I want to make sure to thank God for making this a day I will NEVER forget. 
 
9/6/09: My parents took Chloe and Angelica to church. When they got back my dad asked me what he and my mother could do to help with our wedding anniversary the following day. I was silent because I didn’t know what to say. He saw the look in my eyes and he couldn’t help but rest his hands over his face and cry because of our situation. I saw such love and compassion in his heart for us. I decided that I wanted to have a special dinner on my parent’s private patio off their master bedroom. I requested that my dad be our waiter and Brian requested pizza and French silk pie!

Brian asked me to get the video camera while he was sitting outside enjoying the gorgeous day. He had each girl stand next to him at separate times. The girls grabbed onto daddy’s hand and looked him in the eyes the entire time. He said some very special and intimate things with them that brought tears to my eyes. Afterwards they kissed his hand as that is what they are accustomed to doing. 
Then he asked me to put the video camera in front of him and push record because he wanted to say a message to me. I was watching him through the window as he was looking into the video camera and I was touched by his love for the girls and me. 

Later that night my sister’s family and my brother’s family came to hang out with us. It was nice to be together. My brother commented how heart wrenching it was to watch me feed Brian because Brian has a hard time moving his arms. I often get asked, “How do you do it?” My response is always the same, “By the grace of God and because I love Brian with all my heart. I would do anything for him.” 

9/5/09: Brian’s life long friend Robbie Johnson came to spend some time with him. At one point during the beautiful day I saw Robbie on his knees praying with Brian. It was very moving to see Brian pray over Robbie despite his own physical struggles. Later in the day our friends Matt and Melissa came to be with us. We had a wonderful time together. Brian hung out with the boys while Melissa and I went on a boat ride. We left the boys in charge while the girls were napping. It felt so good to soak in the sun and have girl time. We had a bonfire once and then we had a beautiful time of prayer. Matt, Melissa and Robbie helped me transfer Brian. It meant a great deal to have their help and support.

9/4/09: Chloe and I snuggled on Brian’s hospital bed while we watched a movie and Brian was sitting next to us on his power chair. Brian slept through the entire movie, but it was just nice being together. Later that night our friends Dusty, Katie and their two boys came to hang out with us. We grilled and had a bonfire. At the bonfire Katie said to Chloe, “You and your Papa look alike.” Chloe got defensive and said, “No I don’t. Boys don’t have long hair silly!” 
I was very touched that Dusty and Katie stayed to help my dad and I transfer Brian to his hospital bed. It is very intense and time consuming, and yet they rolled up their sleeves and helped us get the job done successfully.  

9/3/09: Today it was a miracle getting Brian into his sling; which is what he lays in to transfer him to and from his power chair and hospital bed. He almost passed out because of the amount of pain he was in. It took nearly two hours to handle all of the details that go into transferring him. I thankfully had my parents to help me. We have learned to work together as a team.  
Chloe and Angelica danced for daddy and he loved it. It made him smile! The girls know how to light up their dad.  

9/2/09: Today we had a prayer warrior and musician come and minister to Brian with his guitar and through worship. The girls put their dresses on and began to dance! It was such a wonderful time worshiping and praying as a family.

8/29/31: I left for the weekend to get refreshed. Brian and my parent’s were gracious enough to take care of him and the girls so I could get some “me” time! I went to the spa to have a massage, got my hair cut and even got dressed up to go to a social event! I had such a wonderful time, but was eager to get back to my handsome husband and beautiful children!

8/27/09: I was so excited to tell my mom she could take the afternoon off because I had the nurse’s aid to help me transfer Brian. My mom left and so it was me with my three girls and Brian.  It was time to lift Brian so I put Angelica down for a nap and then I put baby Julia and Chloe in the pack ’n play. The two of them were having a great time playing together so the Aid and I proceeded to lift Brian. Once we got him up in the lift we were having issues that took a lot of physical and mental work. Before I knew it Chloe came running up to me with Julia’s diaper in her hands, “Mom, Julia pooped! She took off her diaper!” I didn’t know what to do, but laugh! What was I to do? Was I to leave Brian up in the air with the nurse’s aid all by herself to attend to Julia or was I to deal with her after I got him cleaned up and transferred? At that moment I was wishing that a four year old could change a diaper! Needless to say we made it through and everything got cleaned up!

8/26/09: We finally have a nurse’s aid that comes each day and she helps us transfer Brian. It takes three of us to move him. It is very challenging getting Brian in and out of the hospital bed and power chair. When you think of him during the day please pray for a smooth transition. It can be very painful for him. We had a physical therapist come to give us some helpful ideas.

8/25/09: We went on our first family outing to the movie theater! It took a lot to make it happen, but it was well worth it. A friend of ours arranged for us to be able to use a van with a wheelchair ramp. I went into town with Chloe and we picked up the van, went back to the lake house, put the car seats in, got Brian in the van with all of his gear and off we went to the movie theatre.

As I looked back in my rearview mirror I could see Brian bouncing up and down due to the bumpiness of the road and my heart ached. Before I knew it Chloe and Angelica were singing to daddy to help him feel better. It took us quite a while to figure out how to get him out of the van safely, but we did it! We got in the theatre a half hour late for the movie, but it didn’t matter to us. We were just happy to be together! I went to pay for our tickets and the manager said, “We had no one purchase a ticket to see this movie so we are not showing it. I am sorry.” I looked at the manager in shock and said, “My husband has not been out in over two months and my girls are looking forward to being with their dad. You have no idea how much effort went in to getting us here.”

She looked at me with compassion and said, “Okay, we will get it started for you guys.” I was relieved… we got popcorn and drinks and went to our private showing of Ice Age 3. It worked out so nice because Brian was able to park his power chair in the isle. The girls opted to sit on my lap half way through the movie. At the end the girls went up front to dance for daddy!

Afterwards we went to get ice cream; we arrived two minutes before they closed! When it was time to get Brian out of the van he got himself stuck inside the van and also on the ramp! Now that I look back I have to laugh! At the time it wasn’t very funny, but I was able to manage to get him out. After he was safely on the ground I returned the van and came home!

The girls will forever have this memory with their dad. Brian was quite the trooper, enduring the pain to be with his family.

8/24/09: I watched the sunrise this morning over the lake! The steam was coming off the water and the sky was filled with beautiful colors. I was beyond exhaustion, but I was determined to watch a sunrise this summer. It was well worth the wait.

8/23/09: Brian has been making a point to use his life to pray for others. Today he asked our neighbor who has a husband that is paralyzed if he could pray for her and her husband. Later that evening my friend came over and while they were sitting at the fire he began to minister to her and then prayed for her. After he left she said to me, “Your husband is practically on his death bed and yet he wanted to pray for me. Oh how I want to be like that man.” We have all been touched by Brian’s heart of compassion and love for others.

8/22/09: Our friend Matt Austin flew in from Chicago to pray and encourage us. It touched the core of our hearts that he would take time away from his family to be with us to show his love and his obedience to God. Also, my friend Larissa came for the weekend. Matt and Larissa were troopers to help me transfer Brian from the hospital bed to the power chair and vise versa with the hoyer lift. I was overwhelmed by their love and faithfulness to us. Their actions spoke for themselves. They are the definition of true friends.

8/20/09: From Brian:

To my fellow co-workers,

I want to thank you for all of your prayers, support and cards that you sent. It means a great deal to me. I look forward to being back in the office.

Sincerely yours,

Brian

8/19/09: Several people come to my parent’s lake home to minister and pray with us on a regular basis to encourage and stand with us in this battle. It has been awesome to see the Body of Christ come together through this. We want to say an extra thank you to everyone that purposes in their hearts to pray for us. I believe that sometimes we are carried through your prayers, especially in the midnight hours, please don’t stop!

Prayer Request: Please pray for our parents. They have given so much of themselves and do not relent. Their love has been unconditional and unending. When Brian’s mother and father come to visit for a few days Martha takes care of Brian throughout the night and early morning so I can get some rest. Also, Brian’s father spends quality time with him so I can do other things I enjoy. My parents have been incredible. Each and everyday they are here for us (24/7). My mom helps me with our girls and Brian. She has been my backbone in all of this. I honestly don’t know how I would do it without her. She is such a strong woman and I am very grateful for her. It is amazing how each person brings their supply!

My sister-in-law, Katie, takes Chloe and Angelica one night a week (overnight) so we can have a break. We look forward to that night each week! Brian and I took a stroll down the driveway. That is about all he can handle. We held hands and watched a romantic/comedy! Oh how good it feels to laugh!!!

8/18/09: We received some care packages from our friends back in Chicago. I can’t express how much that meant to us. We feel so loved by our friends back home. Thank you for being such wonderful friends. WE MISS YOU and can’t wait to see you again!

Pastor Russ Kalenberg came out to our place and ministered to us. He said something that stayed with me, “God’s strength is made perfect in your weakness. His grace is sufficient for you.” He is absolutely correct in saying this. Brian and I don’t have the strength within ourselves to keep going, but in God we can!

8/17/09: Chloe and I went to the nail spa and got our nails done with our friend Jessie. Chloe insisted that the nail technician paint her nails bright green! “My grandma loves the color green and she will really like it,” said Chloe! How could I stop her with that kind of answer? It was so sweet and tender!

8/15/09: My parents took me out for dinner and we danced to live music! It was a blast being twirled around by my father! I love to dance. When I got home it was time to take care of Brian.  We transferred Brian into the hospital bed for the first time. He had some complications in the middle of the night. Let’s just say it was an all night experience.

As I laid my head down at 4:30 am I was starting to get frustrated because I could no longer sleep. I remember saying out loud to myself, “I don’t know how much more I can take of this?” After I said this a few minutes later I got a sharp pain that was constant in my foot and it hurt! I felt the Lord say to me, “Cristina, Brian feels pain like this 24 hours a day. I want you to love and care for him the way you would want him to do for you if roles were reversed. Love is selfless; it gives without expecting anything back.”

1 Corinthians 13:1-7 (Message)

 1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

   Love never gives up.
   Love cares more for others than for self.
   Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
   Love doesn't strut,
   Doesn't have a swelled head,
   Doesn't force itself on others,
   Isn't always "me first,"
   Doesn't fly off the handle,
   Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
   Doesn't revel when others grovel,
   Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
   Puts up with anything,
   Trusts God always,
   Always looks for the best,
   Never looks back,
   But keeps going to the end.

8/14/09: Brian and I sat on the patio enjoying the star filled night with the tiki torches lit. It was so romantic! Before we knew it we heard our little girls giggling. They had arrived to the lake home from grandma and grandpa Baker’s house. The girls called Papa on his cell phone (he was on the boat with my mom) and asked him to come pick them up on the boat. Of course he did not recline! It was so much fun in the boat looking up at the stars. Brian’s parents stayed with us for the weekend.

8/13/09: Julia played peek-a-boo with Brian! This was so much fun for the both of them as it is difficult for Brian to do activities with the girls.

I decided that I needed a girl’s night out! I went to dinner and a show with a very special friend. It was exactly what I needed.

8/12/09: I put Julia by her dad’s arm so he could look at her (daily routine). She said, “Daddy” for the very first time! She made her Dad smile from ear to ear. It touched his heart so much that he cried! Our girls sure know how to get to his heart! He just adores them.

8/11/09: I was up until 5:30 am and then on and off taking care of Brian until 8:00 am! What a night! Without exaggerating the Lord gave me strength to make it through the day. I purposed in my heart to have JOY! We had my nephew’s 2nd birthday party and I had more than enough energy! We played games, went on a boat ride, swimming and had a bonfire! There is nothing like spending quality time with family.

8/10/09: My cousin Amy and my sister-in-law Katie came over to pray with us. It was very powerful! Brian loves to pray for people and impart into their lives. It brought tears to my eyes as Brian was praying for my cousin. He is such an anointed man of God. I am so honored to be his wife. I just love that man so much!

8/9/09: Mark and Martha took Chloe and Angelica home with them for the week! They do such a wonderful job taking care of our girls.

8/8/09: Chloe and Angelica went to the county fair with Grandpa Mark and Grandma Martha. They had a greatl time going on rides and petting the animals. Later that evening Mark made a fire while my dad and I took the girls on a bike ride. We all sat around the campfire and had S’mores.

8/7/09: I was surprised when Rebecca Schultz (one of my students) peeked her head around the corner! I couldn’t believe what my eyes were seeing. Also, the Brucciani family (Brian’s sweet relatives) came to visit us. It was nice to have family and Rebecca around on such a dreary day.

8/6/09: Grandpa and Grandma Bachman came to see Brian. It was hard for them to see their grandson in his present condition. They didn’t skip a beat… showered him with love and laughter! I even got to take Grandpa Carl on a boat ride!

Also, our nurse came to visit. She thought we should increase Brian’s dosage of his medicine. I consented so we implemented that. It seems to be working well. I would like to thank you for praying for our nurse. She told us she is a Christian and believes in the power of God! Isn’t that terrific how God led her right to us?!!!

8/5/09: August is the month for NEW BEGINNINGS! Forget those things which are behind and press on!

Philippians 3:14 (New International Version)
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Today is a new day. Behold! God is doing a new thing in each of us. Be expectant for God to show you new things in your walk with Him. He will open up doors for you that no man can shut.

Philippians 4:13 (New International Version)
With God all things are possible!

I once heard, “Don’t doubt your faith, doubt your doubt!” Those who are afraid to step out don’t ever see anything extraordinary. I don’t know about you, but I want God to do miraculous things in and through my life. I want to live an extraordinary life. I want my life to count for something. How about you?

8/4/09: This is the day the Lord has made and we will REJOICE and be glad in it! Each day we have to make a conscious effort to rejoice no matter what trials we may face in life.

From Brian: “I want to thank you for praying for me and for all your support. It is greatly appreciated. Please pray for me to have complete restoration and healing. I am not giving up! I will fight this battle with everything in me.

I know that many people have given up… thinking it is inevitable for me to fail, but I will never stop believing. I think too often people are afraid to believe for the fear of “what if it doesn’t work” or the fear of what others might say. I have nothing to lose, but everything to gain by putting my whole life into the palm of God’s hands.

Cristina and I have been purposing to press into God to KNOW Him for who is and not what He can do for me. He has all we need and He deserves to receive our praise even when we don’t feel like it. To be honest there are times I don’t feel like worshiping Him, but I make a decision when I want to give up to find praise or worship songs to sing to get me through pain or difficulty. I am telling you, He is ALL we need and MORE! No matter what you may be facing in life… Do NOT give up. Keep fighting and you will see God’s faithfulness. You are a champion in Christ Jesus!”

With my deepest thanks and gratitude for all you have done,

Brian

Isaiah 41:10 (New International Version)

 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 118:17 (New International Version)

 I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done.

Psalm 91:16 (New International Version)

 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.

Ephesians 6: 11 & 14 (Amplified)

Put on God's whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil. Stand therefore (hold your ground).

From Cristina: PRAYER REQUESTS: I had a nurse come from Home Care to asses Brian. We will be having a nurse come in to help and also we are looking into getting some additional help through another service. The care providers would come as much as needed to help with all of the responsibilities that I have. It is important that Brian and I click with this person(s). If you would please pray for the right nurse and care providers we would greatly appreciate it. Also, Brian has a pretty severe bed sore and we need God’s miraculous touch to heal that as well. Lastly, we ask for you to pray the Word of God over Brian’s life. If you are not sure what God’s will is for Brian I encourage you to read Mathew, Mark, Luke and John in the Bible.

We are expecting good things and no matter what we see in the natural we know that God is bigger. He parted the red sea! He shut the mouths of lions when Danielle was in the lion’s den. He destroyed a giant through five stones and a sling shot from David, God’s servant. He conquered death and rose from the dead. With God nothing is impossible! I fix my eyes on what God CAN do! We have a choice in life to see the glass half empty or half full. I choose to see the glass full because God is my source. With God we shall never lack even in the most difficult times of our lives. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. He is constant and our friend in time of need. Make Him your best friend today, if you have not already. Say this pray out loud,

“Jesus, I give you my heart and soul. I dedicate my life to you. I ask you to be my Lord, Savior and Best Friend. I need you now more than ever. Come into my heart and make your home in me. I love you and thank you for dying on the cross for me to forgive me of all my sins and also for raising from the dead so that I might be saved. I acknowledge what you did for me and I thank you. God take my life and have your way in me. You are my creator and Savior. I love you Jesus, Amen”
I
f that is the first time you have ever asked Jesus to be your Lord and Savior email me at: cristina@kharismaschool.com I would love to give you further information about what God has to offer you.

8/3/09: - From Cristina: I want to share something intimate with you: When I married Brian I loved him for many reasons, mostly that he was a very spiritual man that truly loved God and He genuinely loved me. He makes me feel like I am on top of the world.  Even when he feels horrible he still mentions how beautiful I am, how proud he is of me and how much he appreciates and loves me.
When I look back at our wedding day seven years ago, I remember looking Brian in his tear filled eyes saying, “I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.”

I never imagined that my life would be what it is today, taking care of my husband’s every need and being a single mom of three precious girls. However, this is what my life has been and I have made the most of each and every opportunity. I promised seven years ago that I would love him in sickness, bad times, sorrowful times, support him when it is tough and cry with him when he is struggling in anguish or pain. Even though there isn’t much to laugh about I try to make that precious man of mine to laugh or at least smile! I am a firm believer that the JOY of the Lord is our Strength. I cherish and adore Brian for the wonderful man that he is and desires to be. He may not be the man he was when I married him, but he is still my husband. I will cherish and honor him until the day I die!

With that being said, I encourage you to cherish, honor, respect and love your spouse, family and friends. You may not have it in you to do so, but rely on God to give it to you. When I have to get up three to five times a night to take care of Brian, or do the not so fun nursing duties day after day it can get to be a lot. However, I make a point to ask God to give me strength and every time He does.  He truly does supply all of our needs. We just have to rely on Him and not do it on our own.

7/31-8/2: I had a very good friend spend the weekend with me and it was a refreshing time. Also, my sister and her family came for the weekend and stayed at a local resort. The girls and I were able to spend some quality time with them. It is always hard to leave Brian for a few hours… I am so grateful for my mother because without her I would never be able to leave him. He needs 24 hour care.

7/30/09: We had a beautiful time of prayer and worship late evening. I began to repent to the Lord for not being upfront to others about what I truly believe in my heart (that Brian will be miraculously healed). The tears began to fall and I said, “Lord, sometimes I get afraid to share with others that I believe you are the healer.” Immediately I sensed in my heart the Lord saying to me, “Cristina, do you remember Peter? He denied me three times to others and yet I never withdrew my love from him.” After hearing this in my heart I said, “I will not be afraid to tell others that I believe that you are the healer as much as you are the Savior of the world.” I felt the peace and love of God saturate my heart.
No matter how weird you may sound to others about what you believe or don’t believe it is important to be authentic. Your true friends will love you no matter what! Stick to what you believe and be willing to allow the Lord to show you areas that you can improve on or change. The Holy Spirit is always there to help you!

7/26/09: We have been very blessed to have our pastors come to minister to us and pray with us.

7/24/09: Brian has about five percent mobility in his legs and has no strength to stand. It has become too painful for Brian to be lifted under the armpits (careful to not touch the broken ribs). We had no choice, but to get a hoyer lift. To our amazement it has worked tremendously. It takes two people to transfer him from his electric recliner (where he sleeps at night, morning and early afternoon) to his power chair (hangs out in that for most of the late afternoon and late evening). He is able to move around in his power chair with a joystick.

7/23/09: I had to go to Minnetonka (2 hours away) to teach a modeling class and thankfully Brian’s parents were able to take care of him. I cannot imagine how difficult this would be without our parents. We truly are blessed that they love and care for us.

NEWEST UPDATE: WE MOVED TO MINNESOTA FOR THE SUMMER! You will want to read the updates below starting at 6/25/09.

7/20/09: We have been facing some challenges, but we rely on the Lord for our strength. It amazes me how I can still have joy in the midnight hours. When you love someone as much as I love Brian I guess it is a lot easier to do the duties of a nurse. We once again thank you for praying for us because it is greatly needed in this time in our lives. Please pray for Brian to have supernatural strength.

Isaiah 40:29
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

7/19/09: Today was a beautiful sunny day! Brian was able to enjoy the weather and use his new power chair. This power chair reclines, elevates his legs and raises high so he can stand up easier. He spent a majority of the day in his chair and took a walk with my dad.

7/18/09: I took Brian’s family and the girls on a boat ride. I looked up into the beautiful blue sky. Soaring above us was a bald eagle. I was reminded of the scripture,

Isaiah 40:31
Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

It seems that God has been speaking to me through birds!

7/17/09: Brian’s grandparents, parents, sister, brother-in-law and cousin came to visit him. It was nice to see them. My sister kidnapped me and took me out for dinner while his family was here so that we could have some good bonding time. It was such a wonderful time.

It was around 1:00 am and Brian said, “All I want to do is lay next to my wife.” I began to cry because it had been months since I had been able to lie next to him. I wished that he was able to be in the same bed as me. Before I knew it he was struggling with every step to get to my bed. He stood before the bed and asked, “Now what? How am I going to get into it?” I had no idea! All I knew is that I wanted more than anything to have him next to me even if it meant for a few minutes. After about 15 minutes I said, “Where there is a will there is a way.” We figured out how to get him into bed. I knew time was ticking so I quickly shut off the lights and gently laid next to him. He put his hand out to hold mine and I began to cry. I kept thanking God for the time I was given next to my husband and I couldn’t help but ask God, “Please give me one more minute!” I cherished the 10 minutes I was able to hold his hand and have him next to me. I will never forget this experience as long as I live. For Brian to have that much determination to lay next to me spoke volumes to me. I have never felt so loved in all my life.

With that being said, I want to encourage you to enjoy your spouse. I know that he or she is not perfect and may get on your nerves, but do me a favor and give your spouse a big hug and snuggle up real close. Hold hands, go on walks, bike rides and kiss a lot because you want to cherish every moment you have with one another. Make time today…not tomorrow. It is very easy to put our family members aside thinking you will have tomorrow, but you are only guaranteed today. Stop what you are doing and go for a walk, bike ride or sit next to your spouse or loved ones. Make the most of every opportunity and live life to the fullest!

7/16/09: My friend Cathy watched our girls for us so my parents could go on a date and Brian and I could have some time alone. We played Phase 10 and once again he beat me! It was a lovely time being alone with Brian. We enjoyed the peace and quiet.

7/14/09: Julia got a concussion. She was sitting on her booster chair at the kitchen table and she pushed herself back hard enough for the chair to go flying back. She began to vomit profusely so we took her to Emergency room. My dear friend Jessie who is an ER nurse stayed with me. We were at the hospital for five hours. She had to have a CT scan of the brain to ensure there was no swelling or bleeding. I balled as I watched her be held down to get the image of her brain. The results came back that she only had a concussion, thank you God! They admitted her into the hospital to keep an eye on her because she wouldn’t stop vomiting. After an hour of being in her hospital room she turned the corner in an instant. Earlier she was lethargic, laying on me and she suddenly turned around and snapped out of it. She began to be herself! I had never been so happy to see her want to get into everything!
 
7/8: We are experiencing the blessings of God being on the lake, one after the other! God is so faithful! Brian is able to stroll down the road with us on his power chair. He also is able to come out on the patio and watch the girls play or swim in the lake.

7/12/09: For the first time in months Brian was able to go out with the guys. My dad and brother picked up his electric chair and put it in the back of my brother’s truck so Brian could watch the UFC match at my brother’s house. As they got Brian into the SUV I said, “Now take good care of him.” It was the first time I had left him in the care of someone else outside of our home. I got emotional and shed a few tears as he drove away. I couldn’t help but thank the Lord that Brian was able to enjoy a night out with my dad and brother!

In the meantime, my mother and I had a beautiful time of prayer and she encouraged me. I explained to her how hard it is to not be moved by what I see Brian go through. She reminded me of the many times the Lord has delivered our family from impossible situations. I rested in the arms of God and got refreshed. I have to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and the Word of God to stay built up.

7/7/09: Today was one of the best days of my life. Brian and I went on our first walk in weeks. All Brian has to do to operate his wheelchair is move his throttle on the armrest. About half way through Brian said the sweetest thing to me, “Cristina, if we came here just for me to have this walk with you, then it was all worth it!” We were enjoying the country and beautiful scenery of the water, field and trees. 

Later that evening the girls went on a short walk with us and afterwards we got the chalk out and played hopscotch. Brian stood with his walker and watched us. It was the first time in months that the five of us were together as a family doing an activity. It was a precious moment for us all.

We ended the night with a bonfire down by the lake. My parent’s have a walkway for Brian to stroll his wheelchair down. We had a wonderful time talking and admiring the full moon. What a perfect day if you ask me, being with my family!

7/6/09: My friend Jennifer drove us to the local airport to meet up with her dad. I could hardly wait to get my arms around that man to express my gratitude for what he was doing for my family and most of all for my sweet husband. When I saw him I embraced him in my arms and I couldn’t help but kiss his cheek and thank him with tears welding up in my eyes. He was so endearing!

With the help of Jennifer’s dad, Jennifer and me we got Brian up the stairs to the airplane. As Brian was struggling to get into the plane he said to Jennifer’s dad, “I cannot thank you enough for flying us home. It means a great deal to me.” I looked at Jennifer and tears began to flow as we both couldn’t get over how much he wanted her dad to know how appreciative he was. Brian was doing everything he could to get into the plane and the last thing he should have been thinking about was thanking her dad, but that is Brian for you! He is such a sweet man with a tender heart.

We had a pleasant two hour flight and her dad made sure to do a nice, smooth landing for Brian’s sake. I had never been so happy to finally be home! We were all concerned about how he was going to get out of the plane, but he did it with lots of help. We got Brian into my brother’s SUV and 15 minutes later we were at my parent’s lake house. Brian was exhausted from all of the travel. When he got into the house he fell asleep on his electric recliner. We tried to sleep in the same room (him in his electric recliner and me in the bed), but I am too light of a sleeper. We are back to sleeping in separate rooms. Oh how I miss the days of snuggling! I just know God will restore it for us.

7/3/09: I dropped my sister off at the airport and went home to begin packing for Minnesota. How does one pack for a few months? I made a three page list and it took me four days and some great friends to help me get packed! Good thing my father-in-law is an excellent packer because otherwise I don’t think we would have been able to fit everything.

7/2/09: A week ago I decided to have a few friends over for a fire, S’mores and to meet my sister. I had no idea when planning my “get together” it was going to be my “farewell party” for the summer. We had a wonderful time talking around the fire and I was blessed as I looked around at all of the loving, caring and loyal friends the Lord had blessed me with. It was hard to say goodbye.

Mark and Martha (Brian’s parents) drove my dad’s truck down to haul our things to Minnesota.

7/1/09: I was awoken by a phone call from my good friend Jennifer that told me her father was flying us home on a private plane and it was paid for! I was flabbergasted to say the least. I couldn’t help but dance up and down that God made a way for us to go home!

6/30/09: My sister arrives with my nephew who is six months old! My friend MaryAnn picked her up at the airport because I was unable to leave Brian.

While I was waiting for her arrival I got a phone call from the doctor’s nurse and she said the doctor we wanted would take Brian as a new patient and wanted to see him the following week! Praise God! Now all we needed was a ride home on a private plane. That was going to take an act of God.

A dear friend of the family from Chloe’s pre-school loaned us a power chair for Brian to use while in Minnesota.

6/29/09: Brian and I prayed about moving to Minnesota first thing in the morning as we stood by Chloe’s window so Brian could get a glimpse of our beautiful forest in our backyard. After praying we both agreed it would be in the best interest of our family to move to Minnesota for the summer. He wanted to move by the following Monday because he was tired of being stuck upstairs. With that I had a lot to get organized. Our two biggest needs were finding a private plane to take Brian to Minnesota because he physically could not withstand the travel in a vehicle to and from both airports. Also, we needed to find a good doctor that would take Brian on as a new patient. I knew if God wanted us in Minnesota He already had the arrangements made I just needed to follow His lead, what an exciting adventure to be on and a HUGE walk of faith!

I got in touch with my friend, Jessie, who is an RN at the hospital we would be going to. She told me of a well respected doctor and highly recommended him for Brian. I also contacted my friend Rae who works at the hospital and she was able to speak with the doctor’s nurse. The nurse told her that he was not taking new patients, but she would give me a call the next day after speaking with the doctor to see if he would make an exception. I was in the waiting for the next 24 hours!

6/28/09: My friend Beth took Julia for us for the entire weekend which was a huge blessing. It was perfect timing because Brian needed help getting up throughout the nights.

He was confined to our upper level because our stairs were too difficult for him to do. He needs assistance with a majority of things. The Lord put the thought in my head to go to my parent’s lake house in Minnesota. I began to share with Brian all of the benefits of why we should go there, “We would be surrounded by our family, everything you need is on one floor (kitchen, bedroom, bathroom and living room). You could wheel yourself out onto the patio and sit by the waterfall or lake. Also, you could be more involved in the girl’s lives because we would all be on the same floor rather than us being downstairs and you being stuck upstairs. The reasons for us to move there temporarily far outweighs the reasons not to. Let’s sleep on it, pray about it and I believe God will give us clear direction.”

6/27/09: Uncle Craig and Missy came to pick up Chloe to bring her to Indiana for the week. Later that night I broke down and cried on my kitchen floor. I called my friend MaryAnn to help me. She prayed for me and helped me get refocused.

6/26/09: Martha and Angelica flew home to Minnesota. I was unable to bring them because Brian is no longer able to get up on his own. Chloe’s dear teacher, Miss Carrie brought them to the airport for us. It was so hard to say good-bye once again. My friend Cindy delivered Brian a walker. It was very emotional, but very helpful to get to the bathroom.

6/25/09: Brian and I went to a movie. It was the best movie because I was with my husband. I loved every minute of the movie. Half the time I was looking at him as he was sleeping next to me. It took everything in him to take me to a movie and I was beyond blessed having that moment with him. I couldn’t help, but cry knowing that Brian went to that movie just for me.

6/23/09: Don’t Give up. This is the day for a MIRACLE! Only BELIEVE! Have childlike faith! Nothing is impossible with God! Today is a NEW day! Rest in Knowing God is in Control! The JOY of the Lord is your STRENGTH! Don’t allow the devil to rob you of your joy. Make a point to surrender your day unto the Lord because He cares for you.

6/22/09: Brian’s ankles and feet doubled in size so we were advised to go to the hospital. They did an ultra sound on both of his legs to look for blood clots and I am thankful to report there were none. It felt great leaving the hospital with good news! Brian has to be on a medicine to help him not retain fluid build up. Today has been emotional for both of us because it gets tiring fighting day after day. We long for a break from all of this, but know that God gives us the strength to make it through each day. We continue to build ourselves up in prayer and in the Word. We are forever grateful to you our friends and family.

6/20/09: Today was a big day for three reasons. #1Julia turned one!!!! I asked Brian, “Can you believe our baby is one today? I remember when I was pregnant with Julia when you had your lung removed. The surgeon came into the hospital room and told us the bad report. I put my hands on my stomach wondering if the baby inside my womb would ever meet you. Then a year later the Oncologist told us you would probably not make it past six months if your body did not respond to chemo back in November. To think you are alive and able to see Julia celebrate her first birthday. It is pretty special, don’t you think?” He was overwhelmed with emotion and said, “We have experienced so much in her little life. I can’t believe my baby is already one!”

We had a quiet (as quiet as a house can be with three little ones) birthday party with the grandparents and Auntie Laura. Julia had her first piece of cake and loved every bite of it! It was a birthday we will never forget.
 
#2 We had a hospital bed delivered which we pray will provide some extra help for Brian to get in and out of bed. So far he has not been able to find comfort in the hospital bed. However it is a lot easier for him to get in and out of.

#3 We finally found a comfortable, motorized by remote recliner for Brian to rest in. He has been able to sleep in it, praise God!

6/18/09: For the first time Julia extended her arms to her daddy for him to hold her. With tears in his eyes and standing helplessly he said, “I only wish I could hold you.” I couldn’t help but get choked up knowing how much he wanted to hold his baby girl.

6/17/09: We went to a church service at our friends’ church and Brian had many people lay hands on him to receive God’s healing touch. We brought our girls with us and Chloe fell asleep on the way so my friend’s husband held her for me. She slept in his arms most of the service when she woke up she said to me, “I thought daddy was holding me.” After she said that to me I realized she had not been held by her dad in almost a year. It made my heart shatter. I believe one day Chloe will be able to be held by her dad and embrace one another like no other father or daughter have done before. So I say to you dads, “Embrace your daughters and shower them with the love they so desperately need and desire. There is nothing quite like being in your father’s arms.”

I wept as one of my dear friends held me in her arms. I said, “My heart aches. It hurts so badly.” Later that night a sweet woman came up to Brian and me and sang a beautiful song over us that she believes came from the Lord. Little did that woman know a few words from her song would carry me through the midnight hours…

Brian woke me up around 2:00 am because of severe neck pain and was unable to sleep. The pain was so excruciating that he screamed at times. He was exhausted and needed some relief. I ended up going to the pharmacy to get him a neck brace and thankfully it helped greatly. It took him several attempts to find a position that was comfortable for him to fall asleep. At around 4:30 am the words from the song the woman sang over us at the church service kept ringing over and over in my ears as I laid next to Brian, “I have not forgotten you. I have held your tears.”  My heart began to throb with God’s love and comfort knowing everything was going to be okay. Once again the Lord carried us through the valley.

6/16/09 From Cristina: Since I can remember Brian has always talked about taking our girls on dates when they got old enough. Being that Brian has been battling with cancer for over half of Chloe’s life and most of Angelica’s and Julia’s lives he has not had many opportunities. Brian decided a week ago to gear himself up to take Chloe to a movie at the theatre to have a father/daughter date. I am sure he would have liked to have been alone with her, but he needed my help sitting down and with Chloe’s needs.

It took everything in Brian to go, but he pressed through the pain and discomfort so he could be with his Chloe girl. He was able to sit through most of the movie with his pillow, blanket and extra medicine to give him comfort. He was dosing in and out of the movie, but at least he was present. As I looked over at Chloe as she was eating popcorn and her dad sitting next to her I couldn’t help, but say, “Thank you Lord for this moment.”

I have learned to appreciate the small things in life. Going to a movie at the theatre isn’t that big of a deal to most people, but today it was a milestone for our family. It was an experience I will never forget. I will forever save our ticket stubs to remember how much effort Brian made to fulfill his dream of being the world’s best father.

I encourage you to not take the small things in life for granted. I am going to list a few things I know Brian would love to experience for just one day: sleep without pain, discomfort and for more than a few minutes at a time, not have to think about how he is going to get out of bed, sleep on whatever side of his body he wants to, turn his neck from side to side, bend over (I can’t remember the last time Brian bent over to pick up something), sit down on a normal chair, eat dinner at the table with his family, ride a car without pain, have the girls sit next to him without having his guard up to protect his body from being injured, holding his girls, carrying them, changing their diapers (just kidding!!!! I guarantee you that he would not want to do that even if he did feel good), hold his wife in his arms, go to work, laugh without pain and not have to take tons of medicine just to make it through the day.

The list goes on and on… Just when I think I have it tough because of all I have to go through each day I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be in his shoes? I will never forget one night I was feeling a little down because I desperately wanted to go back to my hometown for my 10th year class reunion, but Brian vocalized that he needed me home. I said without thinking, “I just wish I could live a normal life.” He looked at me with tears streaming down his face, “I am sorry you can’t go and I am sorry I am putting you through all of this, but I would do anything, ANYTHING, to live just ONE day without pain.” The tears began to come and I embraced him ever so gently and we cried together. I am not going to pretend that we are going through this without experiencing some heavy emotions, because some days I have to do everything within me to look past what Brian is going through just to make it through my day. This morning I watched him get out of bed and my heart ached as it took every fiber in his being to get up.

6/14/09 From Cristina: My dear friend Amy arranged for a party to be brought to us since it is hard for Brian to get out and be comfortable. A few of our friends showed up early to clean and later the husbands arrived. Brian felt good enough to grill and that was a big deal because earlier he was barely able to move without pain. We played volleyball in our backyard while Brian rested. I know he would have loved to play with us… soon enough! We just have to have faith as small as a mustard seed.

Brian and I want to thank you for making this night extra special for us. We really needed a night of laughter and socializing! Also, thank you to our guy friends for your help with the manly things around our house. We are so blessed with such incredible friends that are willing to help us with many different things that Brian normally would do, but is unable to. A lot of people have called me “Superwoman” through this whole ordeal, but I draw the line when it comes to plumbing! I have to ask for help more often than I like to, but our friends are ALWAYS here for us.  THANK YOU! It means more to us than you will ever know. After someone helps us with something around the house I get choked up because of the love our friends have shown us not only by their words, but ACTIONS.

6/10/09 From Cristina: Brian was trying to get out of bed, he asked for help by me lifting up his neck. As Ilifted his neck up, but I put pressure on it he screamed in pain. I can’t tell you the agony I had in my heart as I looked at him realizing that every part of his body aches in pain. I couldn’t help, but ask God, “When is this attack on his body going to end?” I felt so helpless at that moment knowing that there was nothing I could do to help him feel better.

After this experience I did what I know best and that is to love him. Thankfully my mom was at our home to help me with the girls so I stayed upstairs and gently massaged his neck and arms as he drifted in and out of sleep. I sang worship songs and prayed quietly to bring him peace. He woke up and said, “That was the best hour of sleep I have had in a long time.”

The thing I struggle with the most is how to do I be a mom to three little girls, take care of our home, cook, run errands and take care of Brian all at the same time? My heart longs to sit or lye next to him hours at a time, but I simply can’t with the demands on my life. If you could please pray that God would provide for me the opportunities to be the wife I long to be for my husband.

I asked my pastor’s wife, “How do I rest in the midst of this battle?” She gave me some great advice. I will try to paraphrase it for you. She said, “God is ultimately the one that is going to win this battle for you and heal Brian. You can rest in knowing that He is in control of your lives. He knows your needs, desires and requests. I encourage you to take one day to rest and focus on your relationship with God. Ask God what He would want to say to you, not about Brian, but you.”

As she began to talk about my relationship with God the tears began to come because without realizing it my relationship with God had been centered on praying, believing and fighting for Brian. I had somewhat lost my father/daughter relationship with God. All of my thoughts and prayers had been directed towards Brian. I realized the importance of me spending time with God just because He is my father and I am His daughter and nothing more. I encourage you to spend time with God not because of what you need, but because of who He is. Take a few minutes to not focus on your problems or needs and meditate on the fact that God loves you, wants to spend time with you and has a great plan for your life.

5/25/09: From Cristina: I want to apologize for not keeping you posted this past month. Thankfully we have been home for an entire month! It has been a blessing not having to travel. I will recap what has taken place this past month.

5/26/09: Everyone asks me the same question over and over, “How is Brian?” If I have not already answered it for you I will do so at this time. Brian is fighting for his life. Everyday it takes a great deal of effort to get out of bed, stand up or move. He depends on the Lord and medicine to help him get through each day. He spends most of his time rotating from the sofa to the bed. It is very difficult for him to get up. He goes for a short walk each day, but it is very exhausting and draining. He is eating healthy and is on ReLive products; however he has not gained weight like we would like him to. Also, he is doing the IV treatments from the Hope4Cancer clinic. During the midnight hours he is up a lot because he is not able to find comfort. He sometimes sleeps 15 minutes at a time which causes him to be exhausted in the morning and early afternoon. He does best from around 7-10 pm. He is much more alert and talkative. The one thing Brian refuses to give up on no matter how much pain he is in is tucking me in at night! He loves to make sure I am settled in at night and kisses me goodnight. I LOVE that man!

Brian is faithful to read his Bible and meditate on healing scriptures throughout the day. He builds himself up in the Lord. One morning I was lying next to him while he was sleeping and I heard him quoting scripture in his sleep! The Word of God (which is medicine to all our flesh) is not only in his head, but in his heart. He believes with all of his heart that God is healing him of cancer and that he will have a testimony of how God brought him through. I too stand next to him and say that I choose to only believe what the Word of God says!

I had a powerful dream last night. I walked out on a balcony and I was having it out with the devil trying to destroy our lives. We were having a conversation and I got so angry with him I screamed out at the top of my lungs, “I will not stop fighting. We will win this battle!”  I felt his evil presence and he began to threaten me by saying, “Oh yea, you think you can defeat me. Look at what I can do.”

Before I knew it the wind was picking up. It was so strong that I was gripping onto the bars with everything in me.  I grew the strength from deep within and yelled out, “You don’t scare me.” The next thing I knew there was thunder and it shook the core of my being. “You think you are going to get me to back down, well you have another thing coming.”

The wind picked up even stronger, the thunder got louder and the sky was turning an evil color. I screamed, “You can try all you want to scare me and threaten me, but Jesus already defeated you. All you can do is try to get me to believe your lies and I am not going to. You may have been given permission to do this (referring to the storm), but you have not been give permission to allow it to destroy me.” With that I turned and walked back inside.  

I woke up from the dream knowing that the storm was the cancer trying to destroy Brian’s life and our family. I felt as though the devil was taking it to another level to try to scare us and get us to back down from our faith in God. I sometimes look at Brian and it seems like he is getting worse, but now that I have had this dream I am reminded of God’s truth. The devil may be the prince of this world, roaming around seeking whom he may devour, but he has not been given permission to take out my husband’s life.  The devil comes in the form of sickness and he is trying to use it to kill Brian. I will do everything I know to do in the spirit to fight for him and to stand my ground on the Word of God. Will you please stand with us? We are at war with the devil. He is doing everything he knows to do to destroy us because I believe he sees the call of God on our lives and it threatens him. He is scared to death of what will happen if Brian lives to testify of how God healed him of cancer when there was no hope. With God all things are possible to them that BELIEVE. I say to you and me, “ONLY BELIEVE! Don’t be afraid, just believe.”

I can’t help, but minister to you about the storms you may be facing in your own life. It may not be sickness or death, but it may be the loss of job or a loved one, marital or money issues, habits, strong holds, anger, frustrations, addictions, relationship problems, depression, anxiety, hopelessness or defeat. I want to encourage you that God is with you in the midst of your storm. The boat may be rocking in your life and you may feel like you are about to be shipwrecked. I want you to know that God will not let you drown. You may feel like you are about to, but God will always bring you through. He is faithful and just. He is loving and merciful.

Please stop blaming God for your issues. He isn’t the one to blame. We are often the ones that create the mess we are in or else the devil is messing with our lives. All God wants to do is help and rescue us. Today I encourage you to bring your burdens, pains, frustrations and anger that you may have in your heart and release it to God. If you have been angry at God or have given up on Him ask Him to forgive you. He is quick to forgive. Stop carrying the load because Jesus already carried it for you. You truly can experience heaven on earth. How do I know that? Because I am experiencing it even in the midst of my storm. There is nothing like watching the one you love the most suffer and having death knock at your door every minute of everyday. With God you can find the hope, strength and joy you need to make it through each and everyday. He is all you need and more. I know this because I live in it.

Say this with me out loud, “Jesus, I ask you to forgive me for blaming you for the storm that I am in right now. Forgive me Lord for being angry at you and believing the lie that you are responsible. Lord, if it is of my wrong choices that I am in this situation forgive me and give me the grace to get through it and out of it. If it is because of the devil messing with my life I rebuke you devil and command you to leave now in Jesus name. I am free to be who you have created me to be. I trust you with my whole heart and soul. I know that my heart may be broken and even shattered, but have your way with me. I want to be a vessel for you to flow through. Use me Lord to change lives for your glory. I love you Jesus. I give you my whole heart, in Jesus name, Amen.”

I encourage you to daily spend time with the Lord. I give you the 10 minute challenge. You may ask what is the 10 minute challenge? Take 10 minutes out of your day to spend time with the God whether it is reading your Bible, talking or singing to Him. Get with God to stay free!

5/23/09 - 5/25/09: Brian’s parents came for the weekend and brought our Angelica home! She was so excited to see her daddy! Angelica gave him a kiss and a gentle hug. It is amazing how instinctively they know to touch him very softly, hug only his legs and be careful around him. It was a blessing to have all five of us together once again. I LOVE my family! We had a beautiful time with Mark and Martha and God did some remarkable things. I say this humbly, we are blessed with the most loving and nurturing parents. They have been our sounding board, shoulders to lean on and support system. They have shown us what parenting is all about. When I see how much Mark and Martha love their son it brings tears to my eyes. They would give their lives for him.

Mark helped me with all of the manly chores around the house which I must say he is very good at. My windows look brand new!

Martha and Mark took Julia and Chloe with them back to Minnesota so that I could focus in on Brian, the Lord and Angelica (since I have been away from her the most).

5/21/09: Today is Chloe’s last day of school and she also has her school program. Brian was able to go and sit through her portion of it! I looked over at him while she was singing and he was glowing! I could see how proud he was of his little girl. I want to say thank you to Chloe’s teachers (Miss Carrie and Miss Kathy) and directors (Jan and Linda) of her school. They have been such a blessing to our family. They did everything they could to make things easier on us. We love and appreciate them.

5/18/09 - 5/21/09: Brian and I have several moments of sitting or lying next to one another. We make sure to take little walks at least one or two times each day. We walk slowly and carefully hand in hand. Often times he will stop me in my tracks and kiss me! I just love that man. He still makes my heart melt even though he is very limited on what he can do. Marriage/relationships are not about what the other person can do for you. If you want to have a good relationship it has to be a selfless act. It can’t be a, “What is in it for me?” or else it will fail.

I have learned the definitions of love and servant hood like never before. I tell Brian over and over how much I love him and wouldn’t trade him for anything or anyone in the whole world. He is the love of my life. I have done my very best to balance my time with the girls and Brian. My mom always taught me to love God foremost, then your husband and lastly your children. Some people may not agree with that, but I believe the best thing I can do for my girls is love their daddy with my whole heart. I want them to see that a wife loves their husband no matter what. The grass is never greener on the other side. When I said my vows seven years ago, “In sickness and in health” I meant them. Is it easy? No, but I know that I know God is bringing us through this season in our lives. We will come out on the other side TOGETHER!

5/15/09 - 5/18/09: Larissa, a friend of mine came in for the weekend. I asked the Lord to give me a time of refreshing which I so desperately needed. We laughed and laughed! She brought me great joy and gave me strength to keep going. I asked her to give me advice... She said, “You need to take time for yourself each day to keep going.” I made a commitment to take a half hour each day for myself! I am realizing more than ever if I sink everyone else is going down with me. I have to stay pumped up! This is a team effort.

5/14/09: I took Brian to see a pain specialist to see if we could get him some relief  from pain and to help him sleep better. The appointment was at 8:00 am (only one available). Brian does not do well in the morning for the lack of sleep and amount of medication he is on. I felt bad as Brian was dosing in and out while talking to the doctor. I was doing my best to ask questions, answer for Brian and keep Julia quiet (which meant giving her cheerio after cheerio)! I am sad to say that the advice did not help Brian’s situation. I have no other word but to say that Brian’s situation is COMPLEX. It seems that no one in the medical field knows what to do for him. If we get our eyes off of God and onto the natural circumstances it can be discouraging.

5/13/09: Mary took Angelica back to Minnesota to spend time with both sets of grandparents. Martha was able get her potty trained, praise the Lord! Once again we want to thank our parents for all they do for us.

5/10/09: Mother’s Day! I wasn’t expecting anything from my girls knowing that Brian physically was not able to do what he has normally done in the past (breakfast in bed, flowers and presents)! To my surprise when I walked downstairs he bought me three beautiful bouquets of flowers (one from each girl) and a bottle of perfume. He also had a delicious piece of dessert waiting for me to indulge in! When it was time for church Mary had bought me a beautiful corsage to wear. I felt like I was a princess! It was just what I needed. Brian was not able to stay through the whole church service, but at least we got to go.

5/3/09: Brian’s cousin Sandra, her husband and son came to visit us. It was a delight having them. They brought us a delicious lunch. I was very touched when Sandra bent down and kissed Brian’s forehead as he was lying on the sofa. I thought to myself, “Now that is real love.” Sandra was 38 weeks pregnant, lives in Chicago, has an 18 month old son and yet took the time and energy to come spend a few hours with us to show her love and support. We are blessed with great family members.

5/2/09: I took the girls to a fairy fest. It was adorable! The only part missing was that Brian was not with me. I will admit I do get a little sad when I see a dad holding his son or daughter. I only wish that Brian was able to do that with our girls… One day!  

4/27/09 -05/01/09 - We had a couple of days with Brian’s dad. It is always a joy to have him around. Brian absolutely loves his father and enjoys spending time with him. After he left it was time to unpack once again!  Thankfully I had a few of my friends from MOPS come and help me clean. It was one less thing I had to think about. Brian spent these few days recuperating from all of the travel from Florida to Minnesota and then back to Chicago. It was hard on his body.

While Brian was resting I took the girls shopping and we bought some flowers to plant. Ever since I can remember I dreamed about planting flowers with my children! It was going just as I imagined. The girls were right next to me planting the flowers; that is until Angelica and Chloe started fighting about whose turn it was to plant, dirt was everywhere, they were stepping on the flowers, jumping on my back and at one point Angelica decided to pluck the flowers off when I wasn’t looking! Would I trade those moments? No way! I enjoyed every second of it and look forward to planting next year with Brian and my three girls.  I love that Brian is able to look outside and see the beautiful flowers.

4/27/09: From Brian: We flew home to Chicago today! My parents drove with the three girls back home. We are very blessed by our parents. They do a great deal for us. We are eternally grateful for them.

From Cristina: Hello from Chicago! It is great to be home! I will say it is a bit of a challenge traveling as much as we do. We seem to live out of suitcases. I get them unpacked and before I know it I am packing them again! Please pray for me to keep peace in the midst of trying to get organized and settled back in. Now that I have a crawler on my hands my world has changed!

I will say there is nothing like being a family again, just the five of us! We call ourselves the Baker Clan!

Once again, thank you for your continued prayers and support. We love you so much and pray God blesses you in return for all you do for us. It is people like you that help make this journey a lot easier to travel on.

4/26/09: From Cristina: We went to the service at church. Our precious friend, Mellisa Almquist saved us seats in a spot that was good for Brian to get up and move about without being a distraction. After Pastor Mac preached his sermon he began to tell the congregation about Brian’s situation. He asked him to come forward and prayed for him. It was very powerful to see the Body of Christ join hands and pray for my husband. I was so moved that my legs were shaking and the tears were flowing. I believe God imparted something very special into Brian that night, God’s miracle working power!

4/25/09: From Brian: We decided to fly to Minnesota to go to a healing service at my church back home (Living Word Christian Center). My pastor was healed of cancer miraculously and he felt led to pray for the congregation. I felt like if we spent all this time and energy to go see a medical doctor we would be foolish not to have my pastor pray for me. The journey home was long, but I endured it! It was so great to see my girls at my parent’s house. I got to see Julia crawl for the first time! It was precious to watch her. She is growing up fast!

4/22/09 - 4/24/09: From Brian: Thank you for praying for our visit to the Specialist. We greatly appreciate it. It was a tough journey getting there, but I know it put Cristina’s mind at ease seeking his advice. It was worth it to me for that reason alone.

4/21/09: From Brian:  We met with the Carcinoid Specialist in Tampa at the Moffit Center. It was a beautiful facility. The Doctor gave me to options… #1 Go to the Netherlands. They are doing a new treatment with radiation going through IV. I would have to take four separate trips there. He pretty much ruled that one out because of my physical condition for traveling. #2 was to try another chemo drug. He only had success with it for stomach cancers. There was no data to prove that it would help in my situation. With much prayer and consultation I decided to do neither of them.

4/19/09: From Brian: We flew to Florida tonight. The plane ride was rather difficult for me. I only made it by the grace of God and having my loving wife next to me. I was very happy to get to a bed to relax.

Within a few minutes a red cardinal flew onto the top of a tree. My heart skipped a beat! A few seconds later it took a mad dash to the window, but the bird flew right past it. I began to sit up to see if I could see it when suddenly I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Be still and be patient. I will come through for you.”
I sat there waiting and before I knew it the red cardinal came to the window! As I was looking at this beautiful bird I heard the Lord say to me, “I am constant in your life. Don’t be afraid, only believe.”

4/17/09: From Brian: Today we confirmed an appointment, for next week, to go see one of the top Carcinoid Specialist in the world. He is located in Tampa Bay, Florida… looks like more traveling... Please pray for the doctor and the team that he works with to have supernatural wisdom and knowledge as to how to help my situation. Also, pray for me to have the strength to endure the trip.

From Cristina: I want to thank you for praying for me to have strength to get through this time in our lives. I have felt so much peace, love, strength and joy. I can feel your prayers sustaining me. I feel as if I am being carried through this time in the arms of God. He always amazes me with His goodness, love and favor. We serve a good God!

4/16/09: From Brian: I spoke with the doctor today and she compared the CAT Scan in November instead of the CT Scan that was more recent. The cancer has progressed since November and it has fractured one of my ribs. The fractured rib explains why I have been having a lot of pain in that area. That reports was disappointing, but I just know God is going to heal me.

From Cristina: As I was hugging Brian earlier today I said out of no where, “Who’s report will you believe. You shall believe the report of the Lord. His report says you are healed. His report says victory!” Later that night Brian got the report and I believe God was using my mouthpiece to encourage Brian that God has a good report for him. I know it may sound weird to some of you the way we believe, but God is our only hope. 

4/14/09: From Brian: Today I am scheduled for a CAT Scan at 3:00 pm. Please believe with me for a good report. If you happen to be dealing with if it is the Lord’s will to heal me then here is my answer for you according to what Jesus said in the Bible to the man with Leprosy.

Mathew 8:1-3 The Man With Leprosy
1 - When he came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him.
2 - A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean."
3 - Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.

From Cristina: Hello loved ones! I hope you had a wonderful Easter with your families! I want to open up my heart to you as always and let you know what has been going on in my heart. I have really been struggling internally with everything we deal with on a daily basis. It isn’t that I have stopped believing for the miracle. It is watching Brian suffer and not being able to fix it. I pray and expect that each day it is going be the day he is supernaturally healed. Each day I am challenged with the questions, “Will you still believe? Will you still trust me?” My answers are, “Yes, but I want it today!”

I have learned to be patient and allow God to have complete control. I have thrown my hands up in the air and surrendered. Brian and I have had to face some tough obstacles in our lives that I wish upon no one. We take each moment as it comes and ask God for the grace to get through it. I don’t like asking for prayer when my husband needs so much of it, but I need God’s grace to get through this time. I also need patience with everyone in my family. At times I feel like I could crack. I was at the kitchen doing the dishes and had to take a moment to cry and then later was at the computer working and began to cry some more. I called my sister for prayer and it helped so much. The following are scriptures that have helped me when doubt has wanted to settle in my heart. I want to share them with you because they have brought me strength and I pray that in whatever situation you are going through they will give you a source of strength and courage. God bless you and know that I love and appreciate you!

Mathew 6:25-34 Do Not Worry
25 - "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
26 - Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
27 - Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28 - "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.
29 - Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.
30 - If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 - So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'
32 - For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
33 - But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
34 - Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Mark 5:24-34
24 - A large crowd followed and pressed around him.
25 - And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years.
26 - She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.
27 - When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak,
28 - because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed."
29 - Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
30 - At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?"
31 - "You see the people crowding against you," his disciples answered, "and yet you can ask, 'Who touched me?' "
32 - But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. 33Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. 34He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

Mathew 7:7-11 Ask, Seek, Knock
7 - "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
8 - For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
9 - "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?
10 - Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?
11 - If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

4/13/09: From Brian: I haven’t been sleeping very well. I am not sure what the problem is. I lay down and can’t get comfortable. I have to get up after 10 or 15 minutes. I am pretty much up on and off throughout the night. I still sleep the best when the sun comes up. Today I talked with my doctor and she prescribed me a new sleeping pill. Please pray that it will work. I need my body to rest.

4/12/09: From Brian: Happy Easter! We got dressed up in our Easter attire and got in the vehicle to go to church. When I sat down and put a blanket behind my back I had an excruciating pain go through my body and was not able to join my girls. It was hard to watch them drive away, but I didn’t want them to miss Easter service because of me. The day turned out to be very nice. We celebrated Easter with the Gigax family and my mother-in-law. Aunt Missy made a delicious meal! She went out of her way to make the Easter celebration extra special for our family. The girls had a blast finding their Easter baskets and eggs in the back yard. We are very grateful for having such a wonderful family that loves and supports us not only with their words, but actions.

4/11/09: From Brian: My aunt Missy, uncle Craig and two cousins, Andy and Molly came to our house for the weekend. Uncle Craig made his famous breakfast for the family! We had a great time watching the Master’s tournament together. It was nice to have some men in the house for once!

From Cristina:  Each day I look out the window I see a red cardinal in the forest. It is a reminder to me that God is always watching out for us and is here even when I can’t feel or see Him.

4/10/09: From Brian: I had blood work done at the hospital and everything came back normal. We have spoken with the doctor in Mexico. He advised me to do another 30 days of treatment that I will do at home. This will consist of two IVs and one shot. Also, I am taking other things to build my immune system and I continue to eat very healthy. I am down to 165 pounds. I expressed my concern to the doctor about losing weight and so we are adding more calories to my diet.

4/9/09: From Cristina: Chloe’s school threw her a Princes theme birthday party at school. It was spectacular to say the least! They made it extra special for her by everything they did. They even organized a father/daughter dance for Chloe and Brian to dance to. Before we left for the party Chloe sat right next to her daddy and said, “Daddy, it would make me feel very special if you wore a suit to dance with me at my birthday party! You are going to do it, right dad?” How could he resist? I laid the suit out for him not knowing if he would wear it.

We left for the party and he was to join us towards the end of the party because he couldn’t be there for the whole party. When he walked in the room and Chloe noticed her daddy she ran up to him and hugged his legs! She was so happy and proud that her daddy was there and that he wore a suit just for her! Later Brian and Chloe joined hands and danced to the song, “Cinderella.” You can watch a clip of the song at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLYxtuC0oRk&feature=related

There was nothing quite like watching Brian and his big girl dance before the crowd! I don’t think there was a dry eye in the crowd. Chloe started to get a little shy so I had to come to the rescue and the three of us danced! We want to extend a HUGE thank you to all of the staff at Chloe’s school that contributed to her party! We couldn’t have done it without you. We love and appreciate you all. Also, we want to thank all of Chloe’s friends for coming to the fabulous party!

4/8/09: From Cristina: My girls arrived home today after being in Minnesota for a week with their grandparents. We missed them so much. My mother drove them and is staying with us for a week or two. What would I do without such a fabulous mother who loves us all so dearly? She has been my shoulder to cry on.

If you want to see a short clip of my sister’s beach wedding that we were in go to:
www.amcvideoblog.com

Click on: Laura and Erik Directors Cut – Mediterra, Naples FL

4/5/09 : From Cristina - The past few days have been rough watching Brian... I don't have words to describe what it is like to watch him go through this. At church this morning I cried as I watched Brian lift his hands to the Lord in worship. It took everything in him just to lift his arms up. After worship the sermon began and Brian had to leave as usual to give his back a break from sitting. Before I knew it I was getting a text message from him telling me that whenever I was ready he would like to go. Brian slept so little last night, that he was nauseous and his body was tired from exhaustion.

From Brian: I am going to be scheduling a CAT Scan and I need prayer for direction. We need to know what we are to do next. The treatment I am currently doing is officially over tomorrow.

4/4/09 : From Brian - I was not able to sleep tonight. I am only able to get a solid amount of sleep around 6:00 am. For some reason my body only gets comfortable enough to sleep around that time. I am doing my best to not get discouraged. I am enjoying the time with my wife as Chloe and Angelica are with their grandparents in Minnesota. It is a lot quieter with only baby Julia.
 
From Cristina: Tonight I snuggled next to Brian while watching a movie. I can’t remember the last time I rested my head on his shoulder for a lengthy period. Granted I had to put a pillow in between us, but it felt so warm inside being next to him. Tears fell from my eyes as I realized the depth of my love for him.

4/2/09 – 4/3/09 : From Brian - I went to work for a few hours this week! I am just thankful I am able to go. Also, I had my blood drawn to run some tests. I continue to do my treatments daily and can’t wait to be done with them.

4/1/09 – From Cristina I had such a wonderful time seeing Brian’s family. We rarely get to see them so it was a treat! Also, I loved seeing my husband dressed in a suit. He looked so handsome. There is something special about seeing the one I love the most across the room! He melts my heart! I was blessed that a friend of ours took the time to go up to the lounge were Brian was resting to pray over him. We are very blessed to have each of you in our lives to help us through this journey.

Also, we had an amazing time with my family. They gathered around us and showered us with their love. They held me in their arms as I cried from the deepest parts in my heart. I told them, “I know he is going to get his miracle. It is just so hard going through each day watching the one I love the most suffer. It is so lonely.” We all cried and shared intimate things from our hearts. They locked arms with me and are going to fight this battle with us. We can’t do it on our own. We are so blessed to have such amazing families. We thank God for our huge support system. We love each of you so much.

In my quiet time I felt the Lord saying this: “My people have lost their dependence on me. They have lost their reverence and love for me. Where are my people, the ones I died for? They are about their own business, forgetting their one true love. My Spirit is grieved knowing few choose to honor and seek my face daily. Where are those who are willing to lay it all down for the sake of the call?”

*The key to success with God is continually abiding in His presence.

3/27/09 - 3/30/09 - From Brian: My sister’s reception is this weekend in Minnesota. I flew because I am unable to be in the car for a long period of time. Cristina drove with the girls. I am very proud of her because she made it to my mom’s house in 6 ½ hours. She made only one stop. I would have to say that is truly a miracle.

Cristina wore a beautiful blue dress that I bought for her. She looked stunning. I received at least 10 compliments on how beautiful she looked. We had a great time at the reception seeing all of my family. I had to take breaks on the sofa in the lounge, but overall I thought I did well. It was so much fun to see everyone again and say “hello” I wish I had more time to take with each of you more. I was blessed by the amount of support and love from each person I talked to. Thank you to everyone who is praying for me. It means so much to me. All your prayers help me get through each day.

We also went to Cristina’s sisters house to spend time with her family for a few days. Overall my pain has been reduced a little. I am continuing to do my two IV treatments and I get a shot daily.

If you could pray for me to get some rest I would appreciate it!

3/23/09 - From Brian: I am continuing to do treatments. I go to work as much as possible. I believe I am getting stronger. Please continue to pray for me to grow stronger, the pain to diminish and for the cancer to leave my body. Once again, I want to express my gratitude for your support and prayers for my family and me.

From Cristina: I am starting to get things back in order after being gone for such a long time! I want to thank all of my friends that have gone the extra mile to help us. You all know who you are. I can’t do this on my own. I really don’t know what I would do without my friends and family. I just love you all so much I could kiss and hug each one of you!

Today a dear friend of mine said, “You can’t control what comes in your mind, but you can control what stays. Don’t allow negative thoughts to build a nest.” I am sure you can imagine the thoughts that come into my mind with what we are going through. I purpose in my heart to dwell on the good things. I am not saying I am perfect by any means, but when I focus on what Brian can’t do or how I wish he could be more involved I get very sad. It does no one any good when I focus on such things. Please pray for God to protect Brian and my mind from negative thoughts.

3/22/02 - From Cristina: I got all three girls down for a nap and decided to sit on the sofa and have a cup of hot tea! As I was looking out the window I couldn’t help but cry out to God. The tears began to flow and I had a heart to heart with God about every issue in my life.

I have one question to ask you, “When was the last time you had a heart to heart with God?” We can get so busy trying to fix everything on our own when all along God wants to help us. Take time to spend with your Maker! He cares for you.

3/18/09: From Cristina: I have to be honest with you about what I have been juggling within my heart. While we were in Florida Brian and I shed many tears. What we are going through is not easy, especially when we take our eyes off of Jesus, our Healer, Strength and Helper. Being on vacation I did not make the time to seek my first love, God my Father. I began to think thoughts of death, defeat and began to feel a victim rather than a victor. I started to lose hope and it made my heart feel empty inside. No one would have known looking at me, but I was having a war within my heart of what I would believe and stand for. Since I have been home I have made a point to build myself up in Jesus. I have received the scripture Isaiah 41:10 from two friends within a few days. I realized that God was trying to tell me something.

Isaiah 41:10
“I will STRENGTHEN you and HELP you; I will UPHOLD you with my righteous right hand.”

I felt the Lord asking me if I was going to give up right before the finish line. I have been clinging to this scripture for Brian and me. Lately I have been trying to do it on my own strength, but I don’t need to. Jesus is our source of strength and He is longing to help us. I want to encourage you to allow Him to help and strengthen you. He has everything you will ever need.

A few scriptures I would like to share with you that have encouraged me and I believe they will encourage you:

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 8: 28, 31, 32, 37, 38, 39  28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 37In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

As I bask in His love for us I can’t help, but know EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY! We make it day to day by choosing to BELIEVE for Brian’s MIRACLE and keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus.

I have been very touched by a song that gives me hope. I encourage you to get the following song from of i Tunes:

Album: Here is My Song
Song: “I have Found” by Kim Walker

From Brian and Cristina: This week we went through the fire! It was a lot to take in as you will discover as you read our entries. We are forever grateful for your love, support and prayers. We have been carried in the arms of Jesus and when we feel we can’t go on He always pulls us through. Through Christ we are victorious!

3/15/09 - 3/16/09 – We spending the weekend unpacking and getting our house in order. It feels good to be home so I can continue my treatment and continue to improve my strength and health.

3/14/09 - From Cristina: WE ARE ON OUR WAY HOME!!!! WE ARE GOING TO BE A FAMILY AGAIN! I can’t begin to put into words how excited I am to see our precious girls. I am anticipating them running into my arms and yelling, “Mommy!” Then of course they will squeeze daddy’s legs and melt his heart with their cute expressions as they look up at him. I think we will want to freeze that moment.
My mother will be driving with all three of our girls from Minnesota this morning and early afternoon. Please pray for her to have grace, strength and energy to make it through. Also, pray for our girls to be peaceful and restful for the eight-hour car ride to Chicago!
I just have to say how grateful we are to have such wonderful families. As hard as this has been going through this, our family has grown so much closer together. We want to say a big thank you to Martha for staying with us for ten days in Mexico so we could have Julia with us. Thank you to my parents for taking Angelica for three weeks and Chloe for two weeks. Thank you Sarah for taking in our little Chloe for a few days to spend some QT with your family. Lastly, thank you Jeff and Michelle for opening up your hearts and home to all of our girls. You made Chloe’s birthday extraordinary. She will never forget it because I will always remind her how special you made it for her because you knew how much it would mean to me knowing I couldn’t be there to celebrate with her. The love they got from all of you is exactly what they needed in their little, but yet significant lives.

3/9/09 – 3/12/09 – From Brian: I have been resting, continuing my treatments (2 IV’s and one shot) and enjoying time with my family that came from all over the nation to be at Laura’s wedding.

My aunt Missy was led by the Holy Spirit to the following passage and I want to share it with you to build your faith like it did to mine:

Ezekiel 37

The Valley of Dry Bones

 1 The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. 2 He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. 3 He asked me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" I said, "O Sovereign LORD, you alone know."
 4 Then he said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! 5 This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. 6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.' "
 7 So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.
 9 Then he said to me, "Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live.' " 10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.
Just like Ezekiel I believe God is asking me, “Do you believe I can heal your bones of the cancer that is in them?”

My response is, “Yes Lord, I KNOW you can and you will.”

Then the Lord is saying just like He said to Ezekiel, “Say to your bones, ‘hear the word of the LORD! This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.’ ”

I believe that God is removing the cancer from my body and I will be the miracle everyone has been waiting to see! I don’t say this in a prideful way, but only in assurance of who my Father is.

From Cristina: The night that sticks out to me the most is when Brian and I got to walk the beach hand in hand. As the sun was setting he stopped me in my tracks, cupped my face and kissed me. He sure knows how to melt my heart!

3/8/09 – From Brian: Laura’s wedding was spectacular! It was a beautiful sunny day. Cristina and I walked down a flight of stairs down to the beach where the ceremony was held. I loved having my bride next to me. My big girl Chloe was the flower girl and she took my breath away as she hand selected each pedal to throw on the sand!

It was a blast being on the beach and watching Laura and Erik take their vows. The part that hit the core of my heart was when Laura said, “I vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow.”

As Cristina and I looked at one another we had tears rolling down our faces. She truly meant her vows the day she said them six years ago. Who would have thought we would be going through this? Our love for one another is unconditional. It was an emotional time and after the wedding we watched the sun set over the ocean.  

3/7/09 – We had the rehearsal on the beach and then had the Groom’s dinner afterwards. Brian was only able to stay for a little while. He had to go home and rest.

3/6/09 – We left early morning for Florida on two hours of sleep! Flying with three small children is quite the task! We had six pieces of luggage, two strollers, one car seat and each of us had a carry on! It was absolutely adorable watching Chloe and Angelica pull their suitcases behind them. They thought they owned the place! It makes things a bit more difficult with Brian not being able to lift anything, but we made it successfully through security. The plane ride went smooth for the most part with the girls and Brian did okay. He was eager to get off the plane and get to the condo to rest.

3/3/09 – From Cristina: We left Mexico early morning to go back to Chicago. Brian was able to make it through the plane ride! It wasn’t easy for him, but God got him through it. My good friend MaryAnn picked us up that evening from the airport. When we pulled up in the driveway our three girls and grandma Borg were standing at the door waiting for us. It had been a month since we had seen Angelcica (2 years old), two weeks for Chloe (4 years old) and six days for Julia (8 months). As we walked up to the door they were jumping up and down! It was quite the reunion with many tears and laughter. Oh how good it felt to be in our home and be a family once again. I rocked each one of them to sleep!

3/2/09: From Brian: Today is the last day of treatment at the clinic. We woke up to another gorgeous day and went on a walk. The beach was deserted so I stopped and kissed my beautiful wife. We met with Dr. Tony in our room and he went over the Home Treatment procedures and answered all of our questions.

From Cristina: I asked him to pray over Brian at the conclusion of our meeting. He put his hands on Brian’s body and the presence of God filled the room. He asked for the healing power of God to flow through Brian’s body. He was not in a rush…he waited on the Lord and let Him do His mighty work. I would have to say it was one of the most intimate times I have ever had with the Lord. Dr. Tony’s heart is full of compassion and love. He has a true desire to see his patients get well and he genuinely cares about each one of them. We asked if we could pray over him. We grabbed hands and spoke some powerful things into his life. We as patients often forget that doctors need God’s loving touch in their lives as well. After we were done praying I said, “We need more doctors like you in this world.” We hugged and said our goodbyes! It has been such a wonderful experience here spiritually, emotionally and physically.

3/1/09: From Brian:  Today was a breakthrough day for me. I was able to walk about a mile on the beach with Cristina! I am telling you…my strength is coming back! The Lord is healing my body. I am going to be the miracle everyone is waiting to see!

2/27/09 – 2/28/09 : From Brian: Nothing has been different the last few days. I have been going through the routines of treatments and IVs. The weather has been beautiful this whole trip and I have enjoyed going on walks with my wife. I am also enjoying the fact that this cancer is leaving my body by the power of God. Tomorrow and Monday will be fairly similar; the only difference is that we will start packing to leave Mexico on Tuesday morning! Praise God for that, I miss my girls!

2/26/09: From Cristina: Please pray for Martha (my mother-in-law) and Julia. She is traveling with baby Julia from 7:30 am to 7 pm. Pray for her to have favor, strength, grace and patience and for Julia to be well tempered through both flights. Julia will be staying with my sister and brother-in-law (Michelle and Jeff). They are so kind to take care of Julia for us while we are here in Mexico. My sister has a heart of compassion and love so I know she will be in good hands. Please pray for Michelle and Jeff because they have a baby boy who is two months old and two girls who are very active.

2/25/09: From Cristina: Chloe turned four today! She spent the day with Papa and Grandma Borg! She had a blast and didn't miss us one bit! God gave us grace to make it through the day without being too sad. Thank you for praying for us. I felt lifted up today by your prayers and love.

Today was quite challenging. We had to meet with a pain specialist to figure out what we were going to do for Brian in regards to managing his pain. The meeting went well and we will see how this new arrangement will work for Brian's body. I pray it will give him comfort throughout the day and night.

Brian wanted to get out of the clinic for a little bit so our driver took us to downtown Tijuana. I was a little hesitant with the baby, but I had her strapped to my body with the Baby Bjorn! It was just a bunch of shops with everyone begging us to come in to buy something! It was as if we had a big sign on us, WE ARE TOURISTS! Brian lasted for a good 15 minutes and then we returned to the clinic.

Brian and I had a heart to heart talk because it is not easy for Brian to continue on. No one can imagine what it is like for him unless you were in his shoes. The pain, discomfort and frustration has gotten so bad it has caused him scream a few times. Talk about ripping my heart out... I shared with Brian on the rooftop that each day is another page to his book of how he overcame the impossible. Also, that God is going to use his testimony to reach out to all people. It will be a story of hope and inspiration. I believe his life already has been. Most people would have cracked by now and said, "Enough, I might as well just die." Not my Brian! He is a fighter and he hates to lose and so does his wife! We are in this fight to win!
Tonight we said good-bye to our precious baby Julia and Martha. We will not be together until next Tuesday.

2/24/09: From Brian in Mexico: We had to change the treatment schedule due to the effects of having to get off morphine. It was quite challenging for everyone! It is just a bump in the road, but this seems to be a big one! Cristina and I have been pressing into God with all of our hearts. We have been faithful to take communion together each day and remind ourselves of what Jesus did for us on the cross. Please pray for me to have God's strength and get through each day. Also, for the new pain medication to work properly and for me to sleep through the night.

From Cristina: Brian and I were able to get out of the clinic. Brian was going a little stir crazy! Our driver took us to a city called, Rosarito. It was very beautiful! We walked for about twenty minutes. We walk at his pace (which is very slow) and I loved every second of being next to my darling husband. I have become very protective over him, making sure he is not in pain or discomfort. He is the love of my life. I can't imagine my life without him. I will continue to fight for his life and do whatever it takes to ensure we get the victory in this situation. Tonight I am rather emotional because it hurts to see Brian go through so much. I can't wait for the breakthrough that will be coming soon!

2/22/09 - From Cristina in Mexico: Brian did not sleep well last night. He was up every hour. It was quite discouraging for him. He sleeps in every morning so I workout! I have been working out with a personal trainer on the roof top and have been running the beach. I have had plenty of time to edit the book I wrote. I am trying to make the most of my time here.

2/21/09 - From Brian in Mexico: Today was special because I had enough energy to go on a 30 minute walk with Cristina down to the beach. We walked hand in hand rather slow. It was so peaceful and relaxing to be away from the clinic and get some fresh air. I am really starting to miss Chicago and all of our friends back there, along with our girls. We are coming up on the half way point of the trip, Praise God!

From Cristina: We are on a strict diet. The food consists primarily of vegetables, fruit and sometimes fish. We are served a green drink everyday and we had no clue what it was until today. It consists of green cabbage, red cabbage, cucumber, green apple and green pepper. I drank a carrot drink this morning with my nosed plugged! I am trying my very best. I might add that I am craving a pizza, steak and a nice piece of dessert! Brian NEVER complains about the food. He has such a terrific attitude about eating healthy.

2/19/09 - From Brian in Mexico: I am starting to get a routine down with my treatments. I do the same ones everyday. Today I was exhausted from all the strain on my body.

Tonight the cook made cookies! I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing. I took a big bite into the cookie expecting a sweet flavor and instead it was bland! It was the healthiest cookie I have ever eaten. I later found out from Martha there was no sugar in the cookies! Speaking of Martha... she has been such a blessing to us. She is quite the amazing mother-in-law, mother and grandma. We love Martha dearly and I would like to add she has a great sense of humor! If she had not come to Mexico, baby Julia would have been separated from us for over two weeks.

Baby Julia and I had a good bonding time tonight. We laughed and laughed on my bed as I tickled her. She brings us great joy. Oh how I miss Angelica and Chloe. I have a void in my heart being away from them. I am so grateful that they are young enough to not remember this time. It hasn't been easy for them. The hardest part about being away from them is that we will not be with Chloe on her 4th birthday (February 25). Please pray for us to endure... We need God's strength to continue on.
Please do not stop praying for God's healing touch to flow through Brian's body and for the pain to leave. He has suffered so much. We thank you for your love and support. We cannot imagine going through this difficult time without friends and family that truly love and care for us.

2/17/09 - From Brian in Mexico: Day 2 in Mexico. I slept well, but when I woke up I felt like I didn't sleep at all. I was awoken by them drawing my blood and giving me 2 shots in the butt! :) Gotta love that! The first treatment I did was called hypothermia. Basically, I am covered from the neck down with a tube. They heat the tube to over 100 degrees and hook me up to a breathing machine. The goal is to trick your body into thinking it has a fever and sends out all these healing endorphins that kill the cancer. All I know it was HOT in that tube. Being in that tube completely wiped out my energy. After lunch I took a nap for 2.5 hours... that helped so much. The next treatment was one I did yesterday where the Doctor runs electric currents through the specific parts of the body in pain. I finally get the treatment for eating those pills in the dark. I had to get in a hot bathtub where they use a special tool with a metal to rub on my body. It sends out sound waves and a laser to break up the cancer. I was in the bathtub for 45 minutes, it was soothing being in the tub, but I almost wasn't able to get out because of the pain in my body.The last treatment was to lay under a large group of lights that would use the same chemical in the pill I swallowed yesterday. The light is drawn to the chemical and kills the cancer. After all that we were exhausted and went to bed... very long day. Thank you for all the prayers and support, we needed it today.

From Cristina: There is a beautiful roof top on the clinic. I asked Brian to join me to get some sun. It was a gorgeous sunny day. When he got up there he grabbed my hand and began to dance with me and sang love songs into my ear! He is such a sweet and loving man. I am so blessed to be his wife. Even though he is in pain and discomfort he always tries to make me feel special.

2/18/09 - Brian was put on a new pain medication. No new treatments today, just the same as the previous day with exception of the sona. We alternate that with the hypothermia. He had a minor surgery to put in a IV in his upper chest to administer the pain meds and injections. This Doctor is a blessing of God, before he started it, he prays "Lord God, guide my hand as I perform this process and Lord I ask that everything that goes though this tube is touched by you and helps kill the cancer." That was awesome to have your doctor hook up with your faith. By getting this IV he only has to be poked in the butt once! We went to the border to get permission to be here. The area is beautiful with all of the rolling hills.

From Cristina: Thank you for praying for Julia. She seemed to be more of herself today, lots of smiles and giggles! I however have been struggling with a bad cold. Please pray for it to go away and for God to protect Brian so he doesn't get it. It was a beautiful evening so we went on the rooftop. Brian and I danced for a few minutes and then he had to leave for a treatment. When he left I got on my knees and cried out to God for a complete and total healing in Brian's body and for the treatments to kill of the cancer. As I was on my knees with my eyes closed I looked up and saw a big bright star directly above me. It was a reminder that God is always constant and watching over us. He will see us through! Just as an encouragement to you...whatever you may be going through in life know that God will see you through and you will have victory as long as you keep your eyes on Jesus and not the problem! Be encouraged today knowing that God is faithful to deliver what He has promised. We so appreciate you! Thanks for your love and support.

2/10/09: Brian has decided to get treatment at Hope4Cancer. You can get details at www.hope4cancer.com

Cristina and Martha (Brian’s mother) have been searching persistently to find out what to do for treatment. They have looked at different options in Europe, Mexico and different states in the USA. It has been very time consuming and exhausting. Both Europe and Mexico treatment centers use natural treatments that are not allowed to be practiced in the USA. They were encouraged after looking at what these centers are doing and the success stories that they have. The treatments they do are much safer on the body than chemotherapy and have a higher success rate of being successful.

2/8/09- From Cristina: Brian was able to go to church with me. I enjoyed every second of him sitting next to me. I could not help but put my arm around him as he dosed in and out from the effects of morphine in his system. When Brian finds comfort position, he often falls asleep. The message was beautiful because our pastor was talking about calling out for help! It ministered to my heart because in this season in our lives I have had to ask for help, and it has been very difficult for me. I realized that God was speaking to my heart to let go and allow others to come in to help lift the load.

Towards the end of service I thought I should feed Julia so that way we could hurry out of there before Brian was in too much pain. However I felt in my heart that I should pray for the women next to me so I waited until the service was over. I leaned over and introduced myself and asked if I could pray for them. The one woman began to tear up and as she began to tell me her story I heard the pastor say, "Brian Baker." He then proceeded to share with the congregation about Brian's situation and how difficult it is for him to be at church and how happy he was to see him. He asked if everyone would pray for us. Brian and I walked forward to have the pastor and church pray. The power of God fell and I couldn't help, but let the tears fall as I felt our arms lifted as I realized more than ever that WE ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS BATTLE.

I tell you this because I almost missed this beautiful moment with Brian. I thought to myself, "The Lord not only wanted to bless those women by me praying for them, but He also wanted to bless me by having the church pray for us." I am learning time and time again that it is far better to give than to receive. We always seem to get blessed far greater when we get our eyes off of ourselves and put them onto others. Everywhere we go people are hurting and in need of a hug or word of encouragement. Would you be that to someone today? If you are feeling down, depressed or lonely find someone to love on in your special way. You can do it in simple ways by sending someone flowers, writing a letter or giving someone a hug. For a moment forget about your problems and realize that YOU can make a difference. I once heard, "There is always someone that has it worse."

2/4/09: Brian had an MRI of the brain and the results came back that the cancer was NOT in the brain. Thank you God! Afterwards they met with the Oncologist and Radiologists. They suggested that Brian radiate his brain and skull to minimize the tumors in his skull and then following radiation do a chemo treatment. Brian and Cristina spent the next few days in earnest prayer. They had some BIG decisions to make in a short amount of time.

2/2/09 - From Brian: I went in for my chemo treatment and before they began the treatment I expressed my concern about the new spot growing on my head. The doctor didn’t hesitate to say, “Chemo is not working.” It was frustrating to find out that all the torture I placed in my body from the chemotherapy, was for nothing. We asked the doctor where do we go from here... He gave me an option to try a few different chemo treatments or an experimental nuclear metal that soaks in the bones. He gave me these options as if I knew what they were and I needed to make a choice. I asked him, “Is it like a flip of the coin as to which one I am to choose?” He replied, “Unfortunately, yes it is.” Obviously, these new choice were not coming with high probabilities of working. Thankfully my wife, father-in-law, and God were there to provide support. Even though the options looked grim, I sat there in peace knowing that God would deliver me from this cancer.

In the meantime the doctor wanted to do an MRI of the brain to make certain that the cancer had not spread to it. According to their knowledge this type of cancer likes to go to the brain.

From Brian: After the visit hey had me do a scan of my scull to ensure that the tumors had increased in size. The results came back and it had grown a small amount from my previous scan. My doctor didn't have any more answers and his options were more of a "experiment." This really showed Cristina and me it was time to look at alternative options.

From Cristina: While I was reading my Bible this morning I read two of my favorite scriptures and they ministered to me today. I want to share them with you.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (Amplified Version)
Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

From Brian and Cristina: We are not going to give up and we will not retreat! We know that God is faithful and we will praise His name in the darkest and hardest times in our lives. He is the only thing that is constant in our lives. We are reminded of the scripture, “The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the Word of God stands FOREVER!” We base our lives on what the Word says, “He shall live and not die and proclaim what the Lord has done.” We make that decree and believe God will do what He has promised.

1/29/09: Today was a very hard day for Brian because he overdid it the previous day. He was sore all day and became frustrated after having such an amazing time with God the previous night. He called his father and he was able to encourage him in the Lord. Mark has been very instrumental in helping Brian stay strong in his faith and to not give up fighting!

From Brian: I want to thank you mom and dad for praying for me and encouraging me when I am weak. Not for one minute have you stopped fighting for my life. I am very thankful for your love and support. We will get through this victoriously! We are in this together.

From Cristina: My heart broke when Brian woke me up in the middle of the night to ask for prayer and a hug. I knew he must have not been doing well to wake me up. He is always so concerned about me getting my rest! I prayed and hugged him and he said he slept for a good hour. He sleeps as much as he can, but he is up throughout the night and I know it gets discouraging.
 
1/28/09: Brian went to work and afterwards Cristina and Brian went to a Healing conference in Indiana. The conference was sold out, but around 1:30 pm they got a call that they had two cancellations and they could have their spots!  It was about an hour drive. It was a beautiful worship service and Brian was very touched by the presence of God. The tears were flowing from his eyes as He worshiped His Creator. He was prayed over and felt the power of God touch his body.

From Brian and Cristina: We want to thank Kathleen Milligan and Cindy Wessels for watching our girls on such a short notice. We are grateful for their support through this journey. We don’t know what we would do without the love and support from our precious family and friends.

1/26/09 -1/27/09:  Each day was been different for Brian. He started out the week going to work for a few hours. It must have worn him out because he tried to go into work the following day, but the pain level and discomfort was too strong so he returned home. It was very frustrating for him because he cares deeply for Craig Bachman Imports, Inc. He wants to give his best. That is typical of Brian to put himself aside to help others. He truly has a gift to serve.

1/23/09 - From Cristina: Tonight we watched a romantic comedy movie together. We had the kids all in bed and it was just the two of us! Brian always sits on the love seat because he experiences the most comfort there. However he feeling comfortable enough to be next to me while I laid down and rested my head on his lap. He stroked my hair and for a moment it felt like we were normal. He was able to sit through most of the movie without moving because he was in pain! I forgot about all of the pain and heartache. It was just the two of us and it was a beautiful moment to experience. I am grateful to God for giving that to us.

1/22/09: Brian spoke with his family doctor about the amount of pain he was experiencing. She talked with a pain specialist and they changed his dosage of pain medicine.

1/21/09:  Brian is looking into a different route to take for pain medication to give him some more relief. Please pray for the doctors to have wisdom.

From Brian: This being my first week off of chemo I have been feeling good compared to last week.  I was able to go to work yesterday and today for a few hours, which I was very happy about. It felt great to be back at work and feeling normal. Today however, after work I have been in quite a bit of pain. God is good and continues to give me strength until I receive my entire healing in full. Thank you for continuously praying and relying on God for my healing. Through God WE WILL PREVAIL!!

1/20/09 - From Cristina: Last week and these past few days have been rough. It hasn’t been easy watching Brian be in so much pain. I can’t wait for the day that he is able to hold us girls and play. Brian has been very strong through all that he goes through each minute of his life. He continues to build himself up in God.

From Cristina: This was a hard night for me. It was very late and Brian had given up trying to sleep in bed so he went on the sofa. I followed after him. I gently rested my head on his arm and listened to worship music. I poured my heart out to God and began to cry as Brian was drifting in and out of sleep. He woke up and asked me to remove my head because of the discomfort. All I could think of was, “I WANT MY HUSBAND BACK!” I am not going to pretend for one minute that this journey we are on is easy. We take each second as it comes and continuously draw our strength from God. I do my best to look at all of the little blessings in each day and focus on them rather than what is wrong. I encourage you to do the same. Life isn’t easy sometimes, but the sun is always shining even when we can’t see it. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. Please continue to pray…

1/19/09: Brian could not find any comfort no matter what he was doing. It was frustrating day for him.

1/18/09 - From Cristina: Brian and I had a precious moment cheek to cheek for a few minutes. I enjoyed the moment with all of my heart. He started to experience a great deal of pain so he went into the loft. He was in agony. His facial expressions and body language were unbearable to watch as pain was shooting through his body. He said, “Go in the other room! I don’t want you to see me in so much pain.” He is always looking out for me. The other night he brought his fingers through my hair and told me how much he loved me until he no longer could. I can’t imagine my life without him. He brings me great joy!

From Cristina: Our girls flew home today! I could hardly wait to pick them up at the airport. When I saw them they came running up to me with open arms and yelled, “Mommy!” It was priceless. It wiped away all the pain I had in my heart. My mother treated us to a nice lunch downtown. It was great to have our girls back. I took advantage of my mother being with us for the weekend. I got all of my errands done. I am not able to leave the girls alone with Brian because he is unable to lift them. They have to be so careful around him not to hit a sore spot.

1/15/09: Brian once again had a hard night finding comfort. The pain would shoot down his arms, chest, head and back. It was difficult for him to fall asleep. He rotated between the bed and sofa throughout the night. He went to chemo around 3:00 pm. His nurse only had to stick him twice. He is grateful to God for all of you that prayed for him to be able to get the IV needle into his veins. It has worked successfully!

From Cristina: We decided to make a date night to one of our favorite restaurants downtown, VTK! From the moment Brian sat down he was in pain. He had to stand for a majority of the meal. It got so bad at one point I had to ask the Valet parker to bring our vehicle around so I could get his medicine to help with the pain. I couldn’t help but tear up watching Brian be in excruciating pain in public. My heart ached for him and for me. What was life like when he was healthy? We would laugh and carry on conversations without having to think about pain. We ate as fast as we could and I drove my adorable husband home.

1/14/09: There was a snowstorm in Chicago (12" of snow in spots) so Brian was unable to get to the hospital for his last chemo treatment. It took one of our friends 3.5 hours to get downtown! Julia got to have daddy and mommy to herself all day! Brian and Cristina were able to see Chloe and Angelica on the computer through Skype. They were having a blast in sunny Florida with both of their grandmas and Auntie Laura! Brian’s sister was planning the last details for her wedding. She will be married in Naples, Florida March 8th. Brian, Cristina and Chloe are going to be in the wedding.

From Cristina: I want to thank all of my MOPS moms and friends for making us dinners throughout each week. It has been a big help to us. We are grateful your generosity.

1/13/09: Brian had a rough night so he did not do chemo until later in the afternoon. It was best that he got his body rested. His nurse, Christine only had to poke him once to get his IV started! Brian and Cristina got stuck in rush hour traffic so they went downtown and had dinner. It was a very pleasant evening for them without the girls. Their friend Jennifer watched Julia while Brian had his treatments and the girls were in Florida.

From Brian: Thank you to everyone who prayed for me last night. I was in a lot of pain before bed. Part of which was my fault, I read the times wrong on my medication and was without pain medication in my system for 3 hours. I figured this out around 8 pm. I tried going to bed at 9. I couldn't even lay down for 10 minutes without being in so much discomfort that I had to get up to sit on the sofa. I would sit on the sofa until I became drowsy and then go back to bed. Lay in bed until I couldn't take the pain then get up and go to the sofa. I did this probably 20 times between 9 pm and midnight. This is when God moved... I went to bed and fell sound asleep until 1 am. When I woke up at 1 am, I was in a minimal amount of pain. I was happy that I had just slept about an hour. Next, I woke up at 3 am.... I was in virtually no pain. Praise God! God is moving because today I am in as little pain as I have been in months. God is good. He is moving. My healing is on its way!

1/12/09: Brian started Chemo today at Rush hospital in Chicago. His usual nurse was on lunch break. The nurse he had was not able to get the IV in. A few minutes later Christine (his usual nurse) showed up and saved the day! Brian was able to get chemo and get out of there around 3:30 pm.

From Cristina: We played a game at the hospital while walking down the hallway. I gave Brian the challenge to smile at every person we came in contact with. We were amazed at how many people avoided eye contact! I told Brian you just never know what your smile will do for someone's day.

Tonight has been rough watching Brian in pain. He says the chemo makes his body very sore (arms, chest, teeth and head). We continue to press into God despite what he is going through. Brian always encourages me to be strong when he himself needs strength just to sit without pain. I cannot describe in words what it is like to watch my sweet husband be in excruciating pain. Please continue to pray... I feel strong in my heart that we are standing before a HUGE Giant and we will only overcome it with much prayer, fasting and travail. I have been crying out to God from the depths of my heart. I know that God is responding to our faith filled prayers. I ask you as our friends and family to jump on board and pray fervently for my precious husband. If you would be willing to set aside time in your day to pray or even fast we would greatly appreciate it. All day I felt like we were carried by your prayers. I felt like we could just REST knowing you had us covered and for that we are grateful. We are blessed beyond measure by your generous support and love.

1/7/09 - 1/11/09: Brian had endured a lot in the past few days at the hospital so he opted to wait until Monday to do Chemo to allow his body to rest. Friday morning Cristina was a guest speaker at a church and was able to share her testimony of what her and Brian are going through to help women overcome their present circumstances. Saturday morning Chloe and Angelica left with Grandma Borg to sunny Florida. They will return on Friday. Julia is soaking up the attention! Brian and Cristina were able to go to a movie and Julia slept through it! Brian was able to make it through as well. He only had to get up once. That in itself is a miracle. Sunday the three of them went to church and prepared for chemo the following day.

From Brian and Cristina: We are continuing to believe God to do a miracle in his body. With God all things are possible if we BELIEVE! Believe with us for his miracle.

1/6/09: The doctors came in early afternoon and said that the MRI revealed that the two spots on the spine were not close enough on the spinal cord to be considered an emergency, however they did feel radiation would be required to stop the growth of the tumors. They had to wait to hear from the radiologist to get their opinion. When he final came to visit them, a number of hours later, he said that the spots they were concerned about were the same spots they radiated before. They could not radiate those same spots for fear that they could injure the spine or spinal cord. He asked how his pain was in the spot that they were concerned about on the spine. Brian said he was not having pain there. He was having it in other spots on his back. The radiologist proceeded to call our oncologists. A few hours later we heard from their doctor's assistant. She apologized for the confusion. She said that the bones were indeed healing and the chemo was working! They were advised to continue on with Chemo the following day. It was quite a day to say the least.

From Cristina: The scripture the Lord gave me a few days later sustained me through all of this. I knew that I needed to stand still in my emotions, to not be moved by the horrible report. I often ask, "Who's report will we believe?" My response is, "We shall believe the report of the Lord!"

From Brian: This day was difficult on me, I don't know why, but it just seemed hard. God is so good, every time I would start to feel down, I would ask Cristina, "How are you doing?" She kept saying, "Stand still and see what the Lord is about to do before your eyes!" Thank you Cristina for staying strong through that day, it kept me strong and focused. I am truly blessed by God to have you as my wife.

1/5/09: Today Brian had his CAT Scan to see how the Chemo was working. The report did not come back good. The report showed that the cancer had spread and was getting close to the spinal cord. The doctor was very concerned that if the tumor hit the spinal cord it could paralyze him from the waist down. The doctor wanted Brian to stay at the hospital to get quicker treatment. They went to the Emergency room to get an MRI. After the MRI they were moved to a room for the night. At 9:00 pm they said they would leave them alone to get some rest, but the proceeded to come in every hour to run tests because his heart rate was in the 130's. They did a EKG and an Echo of the heart. Brian was also placed on bed rest. They gave Brian a lot of fluids to decrease his heart rate. They thought the heart rate was increased because of the amount of pain he was experiencing and chemotherapy. The liquid helped, but Brian's heart rate is still high. Please pray that it decreases.

From Cristina: While Brian was gone for a few hours getting the MRI I had time to spend with the Lord. My friend MaryAnn always encourages me to soak in God's presence by listening to my worship music and pray. I took her advice and had a beautiful time with the Lord. I even got up and danced in the room before the Lord. I made a choice that I would dance before Him even in the darkest hours of my life knowing "God would bring us through.

1/4/09: Cristina got a scripture at church. It is 1 Samuel 12:16, "Stand still and see what the Lord is about to do before your eyes!"

1/1/09: Brian turned the Big 30!

12/25/08: We had a wonderful Christmas with just the five of us! Chloe was very excited for Santa to bring her presents and fill her stocking! She even left him cookies and milk. The look on her face was priceless when she saw all of the presents under the tree! She gasped and put her hands over her mouth. The girls had a fun time opening up all of their presents. I want to thank my dear friend Kathleen for all that she did to make our Christmas extra special.

12/24/08: One of Brian's co-workers dressed up as Santa and brought the girls presents. The presents were from Brian's co-workers. It was very generous of them. Angelica wasn't sure of Santa. She kept closing her eyes as if he would disappear! It was precious. Chloe hid from him, but eventually gave him a high five and sat on his lap. Julia loved playing with his beard! We went to church and then came home. We snuggled by the fire and drank hot chocolate. It was very special.

12/19/08: Brian is scheduled to get a CAT Scan in a few weeks to see how the chemo is doing. They will keep you posted.

From Cristina: Thank you for all of your prayers and support. We have been extremely blessed by your love. It means so much to us.

12/18/08: Brian was very tired from the chemo. He managed to get enough strength to work for a couple of hours. Chloe’s Christmas performance was that evening. He was in no shape to go. Cristina told Brian that he should stay home. He said to Cristina, “I am going for the sake of my daughter. She would be heart broken if I were not there.” He is such an incredible father as he endured the excruciating pain of getting in and out of the vehicle. His love for his family and for God is unfathomable.

From Cristina: It is very hard for me to see Brian go through so much pain. The worst is when he yells out because of the amount of pain he is in. Tonight Brian was up in the loft worshiping God and crying out saying, “You are all I want God. You are all I need.” He never, not once has let the symptoms in his body stop him from praising God. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and he was sitting in the loft reading his Bible. He is madly in love with our Savior. He shall and he will get a breakthrough. I just know it. God is so faithful.

12/16/08: Brian got his second dose of Chemo and a dose of zometa to help strengthen his bones. It took a while to find a vein that would cooperate to get the needle in.

From Cristina: Each day I ask God to bring people across our path that need a touch of His love. Today I was able to minister to an 87-year-old woman sitting next to Brian. On the way home we got stuck in a snowstorm. After it taking us over two hours to go six blocks we decided to have dinner and hang tight at Starbucks. I pretended we were on a date as we sat by a window and watched the snowfall! I am learning to make the most of every opportunity. We got home around 11:00 pm!

12/15/08: Brian’s blood work showed that his white blood count was high enough to go ahead with chemo. Brian had his usual nurse Christine. Every other nurse had a problem getting the needle into Brian’s veins except for Christine. God is faithful to give him the best nurse. 

From Cristina: I worked on Julia’s baby book while Brian got Chemo. I am trying to take advantage of every quiet moment I have with not having three little ones around. On our way down the elevator this gentleman got in. As he walked in he looked at each one of us standing in the elevator and gave us all a smile. It made such an impression on me. I want to make a point to be a light to each person I come in contact with. We just never know what a smile, kind word or act of love can do for someone.

When we got home we were surprised with a room full of Christmas presents and LOTS of diapers! Two of our dear friends arranged for this to take place. My heart was filled with joy and peace. God surely continues to bless us in so many different ways.

Brian’s Aunt Missy has returned to help us while Brian is doing Chemo. It is very nice to come home and have her there to help with dinner, clean up and our precious girls. We have such a wonderful time making memories together.

From Brian and Cristina: We are believing God to remove the cancer from Brian’s body, to be pain free and for cancer to never return.

12/8/08 – Brian went for his chemo treatment. They had to check his blood work before they could administer the chemo. His white blood count was too low to do chemo. It was postponed for next Monday, (12/15). That evening Cristina shaved Brian’s head because his hair was falling out.

Brian’s Aunt Missy came to stay with the family to watch the girls and help with the house. She was a huge blessing getting their house back in order and taking care of their girls. The girls just love their Aunt Mellie!

12/2/08 – Brian flew home! A good friend of Cristina’s, Rae Thompson, drove back with Cristina and the girls. It took them nine hours to get home! She was a tremendous blessing having her stay with us for a couple days.

11/28/08 - 12/1/08 – Brian spent time with his friends and family. They had wonderful times of prayer and worship to build him and his family up.

11/26/08 – Brian flew home to Minnesota and went to a Timberwolves game with his brother-in-law, Jeff.

11/21/08 - 11/26/08 – Brian had radiation every day except Saturday. Cristina and Brian were able to bring Chloe a couple of times. She thought it was pretty cool going to the hospital. She wanted to see babies! Angelica, who is close to two years old, even got to go one day. It happened to be the day it took over two hours to get to the hospital! They loved sitting in the waiting room with mommy.

From Cristina: I want to thank my mom for coming to Chicago to take care of my girls and the house while we were at the hospital each day. She has taught me the gift of servant hood. My mother is a gem and I am eternally grateful for her.

11/21/08 – Brian did radiation before chemo. This was the last day of chemo for this round. We were given a different nurse because Christine was off. The nurses were having such a hard time getting the needle in his vein. It broke Cristina’s heart watching them stick him over and over. Brian and Cristina took Psalm 91:16 and applied it to their situation, “With long life shall I live and God will show me His salvation.” A nice bald-headed man sat next to them. He said he was on his fifth round of chemo. In shock Cristina asked, “How did you make it through?” He looked at her and said, “I don’t know.” Cristina’s heart was saddened because he was not leaning on God for his strength. Brian began to minister to him. Cristina went to the bathroom and saw a couple sitting in the waiting room and the Lord gave her a word for them. She was hesitant at first to deliver it, but ultimately was faithful to do so. All Brian and Cristina want is to know Jesus and share Him with others even when they are in the midst of their own storm. It is easy to share when everything is going wonderful in life. It is another when you are facing a mountain of your own.

11/20/08 – Brian had his second dose of chemo and this time he wasn’t in the private room. He and Cristina were out in the open and did what they knew in their hearts to do, read the Word out loud. Cristina got a revelation on the scripture Mark 16:18, “You shall drink deadly poison and it shall not harm you.” She began to say, “The chemo that is going through your veins will not harm you because God’s Word says so.” Brian had radiation after chemo.

11/19/08 – Brian had chemo and radiation at Rush Hospital in Chicago. It was heartbreaking going into the room where they administer the chemo through IV. It was a large room lined up with chairs and people sitting getting their chemo administered to them through their IV. It felt like the room of death. People looked pale and very sick. Brian and Cristina were purposing to be a light in a dark place. Brian got a private room because it was his first time. They want to ease people into the process. Their sweet nurse, Christine, is a Christian. She went over all the effects of chemo, loss of hair, constipation, and nausea. After she left, Cristina got her healing scriptures out and began to speak them over Brian. The scripture that became so ALIVE to them was, Proverbs 118:17, “I shall not die, but live and proclaim what the Lord has done.”

After chemo we went to the radiation department and they gave Brian permanent tattoos on his chest and back to ensure they radiated the right spots. The first time took quite a long time.

From Cristina: Going through chemo and radiation gave me such a heart of compassion for those that are sick and dying. I see life in a whole new light.

11/15/08 - When presented with the facts of what was going on with Brian, the decision was made to follow the doctors’ advice and start chemo and radiation right away so Brian could get back to Minnesota to see family for Thanksgiving. Brian would start chemo November 19 and do it for three days. On the same day he would also start radiationfor three days, take Saturday off, and then start up radiation for the next four days.

From Brian: This was a difficult time for us emotionally. After a day or two of ups and downs, we knew we were going to fight this with God and his Word, because His Word NEVER fails.

11/14/08 – Brian, Cristina and both their fathers met with the oncologist and found out that the atypical carcinoid lung cancer from a year ago had spread to his bones. They say it is in two different spots on his vertebrae, in his sternum, various spots throughout the ribs, various spots thought the skull and a small spot in the hip. He told Brian the only choice is do chemotherapy and radiation. He would be taking carboplatin V16 chemotherapy three days in a row and then 18 days off. He would repeat this process three times. At that time they would repeat a color CT-Scan to see how the chemo was working. The doctor said due to the nature of the cancer and where it was on the bones, he wasn’t sure they would be able to see much improvement. He said that unless the cancer was gone, they would do another three more chemo processes.
The doctor also recommended that Brian do radiation on the two spots that were giving him the most pain. There was a spot in his sternum and a spot in the middle of his back on the vertebrae. He said that this would kill the cancer quicker and allow the bones to heal faster and provide Brian the most relief.

From Brian and Cristina: When we got this awful report I kept hearing the words of a song, “Who’s report will you believe? …We shall believe the report of the Lord. His report says I am healed. His report says Victory.” I declare that we shall believe the report of the Lord that says Brian is healed!
We want to thank both of our fathers for taking the time and energy to be there for the meeting with the oncologist. You both are very instrumental in our lives. We love you and appreciate your support. Your actions speak for themselves.

From Brian: It is interesting because a week before this happened, I was in prayer one day and I felt the Lord led me to fast Sports/Xbox 360 video games/movies. This was something I didn’t want to do because it was the middle of football season and couple of movies were coming out I wanted to see. I argued with God for about four days and I realized it wasn’t just a thought I had from leftover pizza, but God was serious about it. I told him I would do what He asked and fast those things for 40 days. I am so glad that I finally listened to God because I spent the next four days in prayer and the Word. Normally I would be watching football or playing video games. Little did I know the bombshell that was going to drop on me! That gave me the extra strength I needed after I found out the horrific news.

From Cristina: The day Brian had his CAT scan I was spending time with the Lord. I felt the Lord asking me if I would be willing to lay down my makeup line and school. Without hesitation I told the Lord, “I will lay it all down at your feet if that is what you want. You can have it all.” Little did I know that night Brian would be getting the phone call that he was facing death in the eyes. Needless to say, I have put my school and makeup line on hold for the time being and am focusing solely on my handsome bald-headed husband, and our adorable three girls, Chloe, Angelica, and Julia.

11/12/08 – Brian had his sixth month CAT scan. He was told to get a CAT scan every six months to ensure that the cancer had not spread. Brian said to a friend that evening “I had my CAT scan today and we haven’t heard anything from the doctor so that is a good sign because last time they called right away.” A few hours later Brian received a phone call from the doctor with the bad news that the cancer had spread to his bones.

8/08/08 - 10/08/08 - Brian started to see several doctors to figure out what was wrong. They did an MRI of his back and came up with the conclusion that the pain he was experiencing was because of the muscles on the left side of his back were not developed properly after surgery. The muscles on his right side were compensating for his muscles on his left side that were weak from surgery, causing his spine to be out of alignment. He started doing physical therapy to help strengthen his back, but saw no progress. A month later he noticed a bump on his temple that was progressively getting bigger and was painful to touch. He went to a neurologist and she too was stumped. No one could figure out what was wrong with him. It was getting very frustrating seeing him in so much pain on a daily basis and not knowing what truly was causing the pain.

8/08/08 –Brian left for China on business. Two weeks into the trip his back went out on him while visiting a factory. It took him a few days to get home and thanks to MaryAnn and Robert Wood, Brian was able to fly home business class. He was able to lie down. If it wasn’t for them, he doesn’t think he would have made it home. It was too painful for him to sit for the duration of the flight.

Summer of 2008- Brian started to experience a lot of back pain. He would experience frequent back spasms and what he calls “Charlie horses” throughout his back. It was very painful for him. He began to see a chiropractor and was put on some muscle relaxers and natural herbs to help him.

11/6/07 – Brian was scheduled to have his left lung removed due to a slow growing tumor that was found in his lung. He was told that they would have to remove a portion of his lung to remove the tumor. After the surgery was completed at the Mayo Clinic, the family was shocked to hear that the tumor was more of the aggressive type. The surgeon had to remove the entire lung. This was shocking news to Brian and his family. To their knowledge they had gotten every cancerous cell, but there was an outside chance the cancer could be in his body microscopically. They could not give Brian a definite answer if chemo would be the right option due to it being such a rare form of cancer. There wasn’t enough data to give a solid answer as what to do. Brian opted to not do chemo. He recuperated very well with the exception of his voice. His vocal chords were impaired due to surgery. The doctors were unsure if his voice would ever come back. Miraculously his voice got stronger and stronger and he had his voice back about six months post surgery. Praise God!

From Brian and Cristina: We read the following scriptures out loud each day at least once believing that as we speak God’s Word He will be faithful to fulfill what He was spoken. We encourage you to do the same! You will discover that God’s perfect will is for all of us to be healed.

Brian’s Healing Scriptures
Proverbs 4:20-23-My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart. For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh. Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Joshua 21:45-There failed not ought of any good thing which the LORD had spoken unto the house of Israel; all came to pass.

Philippians 2:13-For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure.

Romans 8:11-But if the Spirit of Him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, He that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by His Spirit that dwelleth in you.

Second Corinthians 1:20-For all the promises of God in Him [Jesus] are yea, and in Him Amen, unto the glory of God by us.

Matthew 8:2-3-And, behold, there came a leper and worshipped him, saying, Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean. 3And Jesus put forth his hand, and touched him, saying, I will; be thou clean. And immediately his leprosy was cleansed.

Exodus 15:26-And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee.

Exodus 23:25-And ye shall serve the LORD your God, and he shall bless thy bread, and thy water; and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee.

Deuteronomy 7:15-And the LORD will take away from thee all sickness, and will put none of the evil diseases of Egypt, which thou knowest, upon thee; but will lay them upon all them that hate thee.

Malachi 3:10 Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough toreceive it.

Psalm 103:1-5-Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. 2Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: 3Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; 4Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; 5Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Psalm 107:20-He sent his word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions.

Psalm 118:17-I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.

Deuteronomy 30:19 I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

Psalm 91:16-With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.

Isaiah 53:4-5-Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Jeremiah 30:17-For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.

Matthew 18:18-Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

Matthew 18:19-20-Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. 20For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Mark 11:22-23-And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God. 23For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

Mark 11:24-26-Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. 25And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. 26But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

Isaiah 43:25-26-I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake and will not remember thy sins. 26Put me in remembrance: let us plead together: declare thou, that thou mayest be justified.

Mark 16:15-18-And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature. 16He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned. 17And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; 18They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

John 9:31-Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth.

John 10:10-The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Galatians 3:13-14-Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree: 14That the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.

Hebrews 10:23-Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)

Hebrews 10:35-Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.

Joel 3:10-Let the weak say, I am strong.

Hebrews 13:8-Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

Third John 2-Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.

James 5:14-15-Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: 15And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.

First Peter 2:24-Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

First John 5:14-15-And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: 15And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.

First John 3:21-22-Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. 22And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

Second Timothy 1:7-For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Second Corinthians 10:4-5-(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) 5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

Ephesians 6:10-18-Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye
may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; 15And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. 17And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: 18Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

Revelation 12:11-And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

Nahum 1:9-What do ye imagine against the LORD? he will make an utter end: affliction shall not rise up the second time.

Deuteronomy 28:1-14-And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the LORD thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth: 2And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God. 3Blessed shalt thou be in the city, and
blessed shalt thou be in the field. 4Blessed shall be the fruit of thy body, and the fruit of thy ground, and the fruit of thy cattle, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep. 5Blessed shall be thy basket and thy store. 6Blessed shalt thou be when thou comest in, and blessed shalt thou be when thou goest out. 7The LORD shall cause thine enemies that rise up against thee to be smitten before thy face: they shall come out
against thee one way, and flee before thee seven ways. 8The LORD shall command the blessing upon thee in thy storehouses, and in all that thou settest thine hand unto; and he shall bless thee in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. 9The LORD shall establish thee an holy people unto himself, as he hath sworn unto thee, if thou shalt keep the commandments of the LORD thy God, and walk in his ways. 10And all people of the earth shall see that thou art called by the name of the LORD; and they shall be afraid of thee. 11And the LORD shall make thee plenteous in goods, in the fruit of thy body, and in the fruit of thy cattle, and in the fruit of thy ground, in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers to give thee. 12The LORD shall open unto thee his good treasure, the heaven to give the rain unto thy land in his season, and to bless all the work of thine
hand: and thou shalt lend unto many nations, and thou shalt not borrow. 13And the LORD shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the LORD thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do them: 14And thou shalt not go aside from any of the words which I command thee this day, to the right hand, or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them.

First Kings 8:56-Blessed be the LORD, that hath given rest unto his people Israel, according to all that he promised: there hath not failed one word of all his good promise, which he promised by the hand of Moses his servant.

Isaiah 41:10-Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Jeremiah 1:12-Then said the LORD unto me, Thou hast well seen: for I will hasten my word to perform it.

Matthew 8:14-17-And when Jesus was come into Peter’s house, he saw his wife’s mother laid, and sick of a fever. 15And he touched her hand, and the fever left her: and she arose, and ministered unto them. 16When the even was come, they brought unto him many that were possessed with devils: and he cast out the spirits with his word, and healed all that were sick: 17That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias the prophet, saying, Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses.

Matthew 21:21-22-Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done. 22And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

Romans 4:17-20-(As it is written, I have made thee a father of many nations,) before him whom he believed, even God, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were. 18Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be. 19And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sara’s womb: 20 He staggered not at thepromise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God.